Did you ever want to be something different than you turned out? When you were a kid, did you want to be a doctor, lawyer, cowboy, or fireman? Jobs that looked so glamorous, based on getting good parking spaces and making lots of money as a doctor or lawyer, riding the range as a cowboy, and meeting cowgirls, or steering the back of a hook and ladder? How many of us played super heroes such as Batman or Spiderman? But never realized the drawbacks to being a hero like them.
Consider Batman, and I prefer to remember him as the sixties version on TV, not the dark personality the movies of today have made him into. Consider the following, things we all take for granted. We all like attention, but this dude can't go anywhere without being identified. Try getting a romantic table for two, Bat daters. And if it is formal, does he wear a tux with tails over his cape? Does he always wear his gloves when eating? When he gets a Big Mac attack, does he get special sauce all over them? How does he eat pizza? And when walking her to the door, does he Bat kiss her goodnight, old chum? And if he tries to hug her at the drive in, remember the Batmobile has bucket seats, and "hey Batman, your belt is cutting into me." To whom much is given, but is required.
And what happens if our intrepid hero is conducting a safe driving seminar at Woodrow Roosevelt High, where Bruce Wayne's young ward, Dick Grayson, aka Robin is Student Council President. Does he even have a driver's license? Which means he had to have a birth certificate. Who were his parents, is he here legally? What is his address? Did he takes drivers ed, and does he have an insurance card in the Batmobile. "Sorry officer, I left my wallet in my other tights." Sorry Batman, $20 or 20 days. Just keeping the laws of Gotham City may be trying for such a hero.
And I have always wondered, what is a young ward? Is Dick being groomed to be like Ward Cleaver, Beaver's dad? And somewhere is some lady being groomed as a young June? Stay tuned...
And does he have a summer costume-it has to get hot in the summer in Gotham City, and the Batmobile has no a/c. Can you imagine the Caped Crusader in shorts, a wife beater, and sandals? Does he have a lightweight cape for those days with Santa Anas? Does he have a summer mask? Holy heat wave, Robin! Where does he fill the Batmobile? Can you see him at the self serve, using his debit card? And whose credit did they check, and does the card say Batman on it? Who are his credit references? Does he have a checking account with overdraft protection? Does he have a PIN number? Or even a social security number? And does he pay in? The Democrats want to know-so they can tax him. and when is the last time he prepared a tax return? Could this be the end of our caped crusaders? Are they duped like Al Capone for not paying taxes?
And finally as he gets older, and puts on weight, does he ever tire of running around like Peter Pan in tights? To the Batgym, Robin. Got a big date tonight. Maybe if you used the Batstairs instead of the Bat pole. And inquiring minds want to know, is it tough to go to the bathroom in your outfit? I notice there is no zipper. What if you get the urge after too many Batcolas, and...well, I think you get it. "Give me 20 minutes Boy Wonder, I've got to stop at the next rest room and relieve myself. Excuse me citizen, this is an emergency, can I go ahead of you?" "I've really got to have Alfred install zippers in these things." There are some things even a superhero can't control.
But don't blame Batman, these things aren't his fault. They are his creators fault, who had no insight as to the future, and little concern for day to day living. A man whose vision fell short, and whose design has many flaws. Probably created in his image of what a hero should be, but forgetting the details. But whose shortcomings were forgiven, if only because the Caped Crusader is so humble, but even more so because of the incredibly ignorant citizens of Gotham City. Please, don't get me started on Chief O'Hara. Would you let him even cross your kid across the street? But a true creator knows all these things, and when God created us, from the dust of the earth, He made us perfect. No need for heroes, but then we sinned, and all the laws, sacrifices, and kings and their men couldn't restore us. It took a real hero, one who is really super, and that is Jesus. Uniquely created like no other, He was both fully man, and fully God. And born of a virgin, and died and was resurrected. By His father, the perfect creator of the universe, even including the citizens of Gotham City. And He died so we can live-now that's super, My Hero!
And it gives us time to stop and be thankful of how we were created. Why five fingers, and not four or six? Isn't it good the hand came before the glove. Why only two arms? Why do we have only one mouth, but two ears? Note-to listen twice as much as you speak. But the important thing is, you were uniquely made in the image of a loving God, and given a heart, so you could make the choice of serving Him or not. And when we do, there is no need for heroes, as love covers a multitude of sin. God knew what he was doing then, and He still does today. Even Batman would agree with that.
Which makes me wonder? Where does he go to church? Does he attend a Bible study? If he is a true hero he does. Quick, to the Batcave Robin. We are almost late for church.
"Holy -------, Batman." And remember Robin, there is only one who was found worthy, and holy. Remember Him next time you blurt out an euphemism. "You're right Batman, can you forgive me?"
"And Jesus always will." And He does it all without wearing a cape. And we never got a chance to thank Him!
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogpsot.com
