Friday, March 20, 2015

learning to lose









I used to be a pretty fair athlete back before the turn of the century.  Now I don’t even enjoy watching anymore as all the names have changed, or changed teams.  We grew up wanting to win, being told the importance of being part of the team, and being taught things that would show us how to win.  Practice your free throws, wind sprints, never my favorite, and boxing out the opponent under the backboards.  Simple things that many chose to overlook, or not take seriously.  But how many games have been lost by missing a free throw?  A free chance to shoot a basket?  Unguarded.  Wind sprints, running 90’ at full speed, turning around and doing it again-10 times-yuk.  But how many times do you run up and down the court, and after wind sprints we had the endurance to be as strong at the end as at the beginning of the game.  We were taught how to box out, keep the opponent from getting a rebound, even if he was bigger, by getting between him and the backboard.  Getting the best position.  Even letting the ball fall to the ground to keep him away...gaining position on your opponent.  Simple drills, simple lessons that separated us from those we beat.  And we were pretty good...until one night we got beat.  Everyone is entitled to a bad game, but that night the whole team was bad.  Missed free throws, guys fouling out, stupid passes, intercepted and returned for a lay up.  And the more we started to lose, the less we ran up and down the court, and were exhausted.  We missed rebounds, no boxing out, we lost our cool, and forgot all the basics it takes to win.  Losing wears you out.  We were a better team, but our opponent played a better game.
In the locker room after, many of these high school young men were sitting crying, they had lost a game.  They had been beaten.  They had been taught how to win, but never how to lose.  How to be gracious in losing rather than obnoxious in winning.  The coach readily blamed the players, they got bummed, and at practice the next day it was like the first day of practice...back to the basics.  Yet some didn’t get it, one loss had ruined their season, they wanted to be perfect, undefeated, yet were not conditioned for real life.  Losing a game made us feel like we were failures.  We were told we let down our school, our fans, our coach, our team mates, and ourselves.  We were losers...but with hard work we could win again.  And we did, but many never got over the loss, and I still remember it today.  More importantly I remember being taught to win, but not how to lose.  How to handle defeat, how to bounce back.  Through tears many lost heart, but in reality it was only a game.  32 minutes in a life.  It should have made us a better team, it ended up dividing us.  Pointing the finger at others.  One loss, ruined a team.  We won again, and never lost again that season, but were a divided team, a divided family.  A game many would remember, only because we weren’t undefeated.  We weren’t perfect.  We were 15-17 year old boys, we weren’t forgiven.  And some never forgave themselves.
No one plays the game to lose.  But in losing we find our weaknesses, and with proper guidance we overcome them.  We aren’t perfect, and even though we want to be, we aren’t.  Being successful more than half the time has gotten teams to the Super Bowl.  A good NBA team loses 40% of the time.  Being a successful hitter only 30% of the time can get you into the Hall of Fame.  Second place isn’t first loser, it is still a podium finish.  The guy finishing fourth doesn’t get one.  Missed by one position.  One pitch, one missed shot, one pit stop, one missed field goal changes the outcome, and we let it change us.  Jesus tells us different.  Scripture tells us we run the race of life to win.  But we need to endure to the end, and we will have many losses, defeats along the way.  It is how we handle the defeat that our character shows through, not how we handle victory.  And Jesus forgives our sin, all of them.  Yesterdays and todays, and tomorrows yet to come.  He doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but to compete everyday. To be our best, and when we blow it, repent and move on.  Get over it.  Turn to him.  How many Christian athletes are ready to give him the glory in victory, but hide under a towel in tears after defeat? 
Good Friday looked like the ultimate defeat for the devil.  Jesus was dead, he was buried, his disciples scared and scattered.  A defeat had shattered them, they forgot how to endure the loss, or losing.  But true to his word, and prophecy, Jesus rose again after 3 days.  A victory won, defeat overcome, death turned to life.  But for 3 days they all stood back and wondered, head buried under a towel.  They had seen the miracles, now he was gone.  What would they do?
Today we face many obstacles that we wonder “where is Jesus?”  Where are his promises for us?  He is there, the plan is in place and fully operational.  Sometimes a test to see how we will react, sometimes just to remind us of how much we need him.  But lately my losses have brought me closer to those who have lost something, and I can empathize with them.  Console them, as Jesus consoles us.  We won’t win every battle, or every game, it is where we finish that counts.  Heaven is assured, and how we handle defeat along the way can energize others.  Funny how our testimonies all start with us in defeat, but end up in victory.  Just as God planned it....we are victors in Christ.  Winners, we have run the race and finished.  We have endured, and learned more about God,and been drawn closer to him in the tough times.  We got to see him at our lowest lows, and will celebrate with him in the highest highs.  All winners, no losers, except those who deny him.  Their record intact, no matter how many games won.  After a loss the next victory is that much sweeter.  And will show us more of Jesus if we looked.  Or were looking. 
One final point, the four point play in basketball.  The two you didn’t get, and the two your opponent did when he stole the ball from you.  Four points that can change a game.  Don’t let anyone steal your joy of Jesus from you.  You may lose a game or two, where you finish is more important.  Jesus forgives, forgive yourself.  Forget the missed shots, praise him for the ones you made.  The victory party is about to begin....
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com