With each new generation, stylists, designers, engineers, and marketing
groups try to impress us and tell us what is stylish and trendy. What looks so
good now can make the old looks ancient, and that we just don’t see how we can
ever make it without the newest arrival in our garage. So...many have come up
with the lists of the worst or ugliest cars, so here goes, with motorcycles.
First, let me say no bike is truly ugly, just some not as cool as others. Just
looking at the timeless styling of a sixties Bonneville, and you will agree.
Early Hondas of the same vintage look, well Japanese, and had to be reliable to
overcome their looks. For the past 90 years Harley has reintroduced a vintage
look, relying on bikes from 50-60 years ago as their basis. BMW’s have always
had their own look, as has Moto Guzzi, and certain others. But here are some
that no way could they even be parked in my garage, even under cover of
dark.
Remember the first Suzuki Rotary of 1975? With the space ship styling, and
instrument pod that was referred to as a lunch box? Blue or red, a no go, but
the next year with regular instruments and black with gold stripes, it was
handsome. Until you turned it ton-it whirred. Then burped when off throttle.
Just to show that a great motor can be hidden behind an ugly face, remember the
Rocket 3 from BSA with its space age exhaust-like a ray gun. RIP BSA, even the
Jetson styled cycle couldn’t save you. You like big, Kawasaki made a 1300cc six
cylinder touring bike in the eighties. Industrial looking, squared off tank,
and BIG, no wonder it didn’t sell. Today they call then rare-bad taste is
rewarded if you wait long enough.
Even Honda couldn’t keep the ugly out of the studio, or out of the showrooms with the Rune, a poorly executed custom in the 90’s. Saw one once, some non-bikers were laughing at it. Not even the name Honda could save this turd. Even Buell with all its interesting engineering somehow felt the need to wrap it in ugly, so as to give it a reason not to sell. The Buell lightning, why so people learned to Just Say No to riding even before quitting drugs. Maybe the saddest thing is someone or some design team was paid to design them, only one step behind the idiots who signed off on them. But not all manufacturers fall prey to ugly, we also have the chopper crowd. Way over priced, except when it comes time to trade or sell, beauty must be in the eye of the beholder, who sees green before beauty. Antlers on handlebars, OK for Dick’s Harley, maybe blame him for the craze, but on a Christmas chopper? Really, who asked Santa for this one? And bikes shaped like women, or lizards, or just plain ugly-I thought chopped meant chopped, as in parts taken off, not ugly added? CafĂ© racers are now the current fad, and they can get ugly too. But when holding on at over a 100mph, they don’t seem to care. Even Harley did one years ago, and it had promise, but the Bar and Shield loyal preferred chrome to power-still do. They can’t say no to chrome, while others can’t say no to horsepower. Just some late entries, the Suzuki B King that Ray has hot rodded, unless you feel 167 hp at the rear wheel isn’t enough for a 70 year old kid? So maybe beauty is in the eye of the beholder, until yesterday. There it was in white, where there should be black. Painted for a Progressive Insurance commercial, Flo, this white Rocket 3 was made for the commercial, and then to be crushed. Maybe to protect its integrity, but some Youtuber will add it, and the legend will live on. In a world of Honda red, Yamaha yellow, Kawasaki white, and Suzuki yellow-do we really need a white bike? We dubbed it the Good Humor bike, well at least it was good humor. We all have our tastes, good and bad, and have an affinity for what we think makes us look good. At least to us...
Even Honda couldn’t keep the ugly out of the studio, or out of the showrooms with the Rune, a poorly executed custom in the 90’s. Saw one once, some non-bikers were laughing at it. Not even the name Honda could save this turd. Even Buell with all its interesting engineering somehow felt the need to wrap it in ugly, so as to give it a reason not to sell. The Buell lightning, why so people learned to Just Say No to riding even before quitting drugs. Maybe the saddest thing is someone or some design team was paid to design them, only one step behind the idiots who signed off on them. But not all manufacturers fall prey to ugly, we also have the chopper crowd. Way over priced, except when it comes time to trade or sell, beauty must be in the eye of the beholder, who sees green before beauty. Antlers on handlebars, OK for Dick’s Harley, maybe blame him for the craze, but on a Christmas chopper? Really, who asked Santa for this one? And bikes shaped like women, or lizards, or just plain ugly-I thought chopped meant chopped, as in parts taken off, not ugly added? CafĂ© racers are now the current fad, and they can get ugly too. But when holding on at over a 100mph, they don’t seem to care. Even Harley did one years ago, and it had promise, but the Bar and Shield loyal preferred chrome to power-still do. They can’t say no to chrome, while others can’t say no to horsepower. Just some late entries, the Suzuki B King that Ray has hot rodded, unless you feel 167 hp at the rear wheel isn’t enough for a 70 year old kid? So maybe beauty is in the eye of the beholder, until yesterday. There it was in white, where there should be black. Painted for a Progressive Insurance commercial, Flo, this white Rocket 3 was made for the commercial, and then to be crushed. Maybe to protect its integrity, but some Youtuber will add it, and the legend will live on. In a world of Honda red, Yamaha yellow, Kawasaki white, and Suzuki yellow-do we really need a white bike? We dubbed it the Good Humor bike, well at least it was good humor. We all have our tastes, good and bad, and have an affinity for what we think makes us look good. At least to us...
I heard a Pentacostal preacher one time joke about himself and other
religious types. He told how he would spend hours in front of the mirror,
spraying his hair, then polishing his patent leather shoes, then putting on his
double knit suit. While his wife, taught to be modest, wore her skirt to her
ankles, drab colors, low shoes, and not a hit of style anywhere. Keep your hair
in a bun honey, then styling don’t matter. And he was funny, and right. But we
all get prejudiced views on religion, nothing new. Then along came Jesus, who
although we have no photos of him, years before digital, many in Hollywood and
artists claim to know how He should have looked. Long hair or crew cut?
Remember the famous non-quote, “let them wear there hair as long as they want.”
Jesus wasn’t stylish, but somehow appealed to all. Something about Him that
made Him different. So just like we have many trying to show how great a
Christian they are by the xlever sayings on their shirts, Jesus wore the clothes
of the day. Not trying to bring attention to Himself, His actions and attitudes
would do that. And then He always pointed them to God, His Father. Which we
all do, right? I mean, it really is all about Jesus isn’t it? Your shirt says
so, is it true? Or are we just a great product, the signs say “God don’t make
no junk,” just wrapped in a bad package? What do people see when they see us?
Jesus, who they are drawn to, or us and our religious attitudes, and turn away?
If clothes make the man, what did they make Jesus? As He was naked on the
cross?
Who do you see when you see Jesus? Someday in heaven we shall see Him face
to face, and instantly recognize Him. And Him us. For looks will not matter
then, but like scripture tells us, “things seen are temporal, things not seen
are eternal.” Why worry about what you wear in heaven, isn’t it more important
to get there first? Ugly, beautiful, plain or fancy-we will all have one common
denominator in heaven-Jesus. That is all that matters then, and should now.
Take an example from what an old BMW rider once told me, about the jugs sticking
out in the wind of his engine. “The view from over the handlebars is all I
see. And it gets better as the roads go on.” I like that, the view from behind
the handlebars. Maybe we do see things different from their than we are seen
while passing by riding on it. What do people see when you go past? What do
you see as you look ahead? Jesus loves you as you are, that work in progress.
This years model, right now. Maybe the old rider was right-the best view is
what’s ahead, on what you are riding right now. Look ahead to Jesus, so many
roads and so many bikes. Let’s ride. A twist of the throttle will tell you
more about performance than looks. Just ask Jesus.
love with compassion,
Mike
matthewbiker.blogspot.com