I was in the garage when the stretch limo pulled up next door. Not paying much attention, until the driver stopped to talk about my bikes, I saw it was for Jake, my neighbor's son's thirteenth birthday. And he and his friends were going out in the limo. And as I noticed the girls in one group, and the boys in another, I laughed inside. I wanted to tell him this was the best time of his life and to enjoy it. But this wise old sage of romance wisely decided to keep his mouth shut. There are some things that are best being found out by yourself, and when they returned it looked like the first lesson had taken place, as one or two of them had paired off with girls, and had crossed over into the battleground called puberty. And I remembered what a long, strange trip it had been.
Her name was Chris, and I met her in study hall. One of her friends had told me she thought I was cute, and so I said "she's pretty," and the romance began. Almost. My friend Guy, who was way cool, was having a party, and invited her because I would be there. For almost a week I couldn't wait until the party, and then Thursday night hit. I was going to meet a girl. I know nothing about them. What do I talk about? What if she giggled? What if..... So as the prepubescent glands went into over load, so did I. Double Clearasil emergency. And that night at the party, I stood in one side of the basement with my friends, while she stood on the other side with hers. My worst dreams realized.
With all my sophisticated, never have dated friends asking "when are you going over and talk to her?" And all her friends asking, "what's the matter with him, when is he coming over and talk to you?" It finally took Michael Cohen and his big mouth to embarrass me and over I went. Forgetting all of the lines I had rehearsed, I blurted out something romantic like "Hi. Having fun?"
To which she lied, "Yes." "Would you like a Coke?" She did. "Would you like to sit on the sofa?" She did and so we did. "Isn't Cohen a jerk?" She agreed. I had started a real live conversation, with a girl, and we agreed on four things. What a great conversationalist. Maybe this whole girl thing wasn't as complicated as I thought. Maybe I had panicked for nothing. I only wish it hadn't taken me over 2 1/2 hours to get up the courage to go over and find out. So for the last 45 minutes of the party we talked, on the sofa, next to each other-I had never sat so close to a girl before, and when it came time for her mother to pick her up, I walked her outside. Still in the dark. And somehow our hands touched, and I was hold hands-with a girl. And she even introduced me to her mother, who had seen the hand holding, and started a tradition of girl friend's mothers who took a disliking to me. Thirteen year old girls in Scotch Plains didn't indulge in such activities. This was all too much for one night.
But somehow she managed to convince her mother that it was OK to meet me at Guy's the next afternoon and watch the Jets on TV. "Yes, it will be chaperoned," she fibbed, in the name of love, Guy and his girl friend assuming the title, and while we watched football, they chaperoned-and kissed. And having lost all of the courage and savvy with women I had the night before, we talked. While Guy and his girlfriend made out. And just before half time, it happened. Somehow our lips quit talking and touched. Our first kiss! Now we had another thing in common, as we both had never kissed before. And it showed. But by the third quarter, this too had been mastered. And in just 24 hours, I was a man! Just don't hide my Clearasil! I didn't even know who won the game, and I didn't care either.
And for most of eighth grade we were Mike and Chris, until her mother made her stay home one Saturday to study, which we didn't do most nights, it would have cut into our time on the phone together. And I made the mistake of going over to her friend Kyle's house, who did study on school nights, keeping weekends open, and that was it. Never trust a girl who does her homework. And the greatest romance ever at Terrill Junior High was over. And so were the benefits of being Chris' boyfriend, for now all her friends hated me too. No more girlfriend. No more Mr. Cool with my own woman. I had tasted love at the junior high level, my first love, and lost it! And I was heartbroken. And so was she. This wasn't supposed to happen. Guy, what do I do now?
It was many girlfriends and many years later I was to read about a letter Jesus sent to the Ephesian church. A letter telling them how they had left their first love. And I remembered Chris. Hey, maybe there is something to this Jesus thing. But their loss was more than a teenage fancy, they had turned their backs on Jesus, who had saved them. Life had overtaken them, as it sometimes does, and they had succumbed to life, instead of keeping Jesus first. Sin, or another type of Kyle had entered their life, and they had lost their first love. It was the Chris thing all over again. And with it, all the joy that only God can bring to a life. But Jesus invited them back, to be forgiven. And I am sure many did, and were welcomed, but some always seem to be over burdened by bitterness, and choose alternatives instead of forgiveness. Sadly believing the lie that God would never forgive them.
I am sad when I hear of brothers and sisters who turn their back on God, their first love. And replace it with things such as jobs, careers, girlfriends, and money. I even heard of a guy replacing God's love with motorcycles. If you can believe that! And I pray they turn to and return to their first love, as He never left them. For He has shown me that when I put Him first, He adds everything else to my life. Including my wife of 33 years. And let me tell you, based on previous experience of many broken hearts and unreturned ID bracelets, which can get expensive, it is easier and better to stay with Jesus as your first love. Amd when Theresa and I keep Him first in our marriage, the blessings go on-more than we could ever ask for or imagine.
So keep the main thing the main thing-the first love your best love. Trust God with your life and watch as He adds all the things to it you never knew you desired, and far beyond your wildest expectations. Obedience is still far superior to sacrifice. He says that too. And as much fun as those teen years were, I shudder ever having to repeat them over again. Stick with your first love. Never leave it. And if you are looking for a first love, choose the one who first loved you. So much that He died for you.
And yes, after 33 years, my beautiful wife still thinks I'm cute. Maybe it's true what they say, love is blind! Keep Jesus first, and she will always have eyes only for you. Love lesson number one, to the Ephesians. Whoever we may be.
love with compassion,
Mike
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