The other night a man confessed to me his first crime was breaking into a
school, and spraying graffiti. Leaving only their initials in paint to claim
victory, they couldn’t understand why the police caught them. How did they know
their names? They had only left their initials...There I was riding along at
136 in a 55 zone, when I got pulled over. Who was I to blame? Where is a
riding partner when you need one? Another night my friend was found sleeping
off too much wine in his truck. When he responded to not knowing about any
accident, when they brought him his rear bumper with the license plate still
attached, his brilliant response was “I don’t know.” Another time we ran from
the cops at over 100 mph, and when asked why we ran, Bouke told them “because
you were chasing us.” And he bought it, actually he was, he admired our bikes,
and rode fast himself. And loved the answer. I don’t think this one ever got
recorded in his daily log. Who was to blame when BH wheelied and ended up on
the trunk of a Plainfield PD car? The girl he was trying to impress? When Greg
got caught stealing records, his answer was “I just wanted to put them in my
car, then I was going back to pay for them.” Sometimes though it is trick
questions, like last name first, first name last, how many fail that test? Or
like my answer when told by an old boss to quit asking questions, I replied
“why?” It seems that to every stupid action, a stupid reaction is required.
When asked why he was shooting at the guy chasing him, his reply was “because I
thought I’d hit him.” Remember Inspector Clousseau petting the dog, getting
bit. “Does your dog bite?” he asked, and after getting bit, the man behind the
counter replied “no, it’s not my dog.”
When the Byrds had a hit with Turn, Turn, Turn putting words from
Ecclesiastes into tune, they could have added a time to be stupid, a time to be
smart, a time to pull over, a time to run, and a time to answer and a time to
shut up. Not found in the original text, but true just the same. But yet some
events happen to us, without our OK. Geno one time riding my R90S blew by in
triple digits. The look of horror on his face told me there was a problem, and
after thinking to turn off the key, the bike came to a stop. One cable to the
Dell O’rtos had broken, leaving the carburetor in full open position. But with
still enough power after disconnecting it to ride 70 with only one carb. How
many have slammed on the brakes when the car started to skid, just adding to the
skidding? Ever caught with Oreo crumbs on your shirt, and chocolate on your
face, denying you ate them? We even had a teacher once that would catch us when
playing Simon Says. She would cleverly say “Simon says jump up,” and we would.
Then all be busted because she “didn’t say jump down.” Simon says “$%#*&
you.” When asked if a friend would take a look at a car of mine not running
right, his reply, “park it over there so I can see it.” Another time I offered
am, “can I lend you a hand?” His reply, “I’d look awfully funny with three
hands.” But some of the classics come from MAD magazine’s “Snappy Answers to
Stupid Questions.” “Have an accident?” “No thanks, I just had one.” Well, it
is said that humor is the purest form of truth....after a lunch with Marcia and
her sister, where she was particularly funny, she was told to quit acting
stupid. “I’m not acting!” was her reply, and all of those offended now had to
laugh. So we all have quick quips, pre-practiced responses ready for whatever
situation we may find ourselves in.
But one question asked is “who is Jesus?” The replies range from great
teacher, rabbi, philosopher, author-although he inspired, he never wrote any
books, religious man, and revolutionary. But while all may have an grain of
truth, the correct answer is he is God, and man, and the son of God. Also the
son of man. Confused. Don’t try to figure it out, just go with it. He is
fully man, and fully God. The only way we could and can be saved. Not a stupid
question, but still lots of stupid answers. With one funny one standing out. A
handwritten graffiti on a wall said “Jesus saves.” And underneath it someone
wrote, “and at today’s prices that is a miracle.” If they only knew how true
that is. But he can save us from sin, from misery, from heartache, and from
many forms of stupid. Yet so often when we pray asking, we don’t wait for his
answer. Or worse yet, don’t like it. And make it worse. Even the Jews when
led out of captivity by Moses, complained about the manna God fed them. And the
shoes that never wore out. Yet they wanted to go back to Egypt and be slaves,
because the food was better. Yet they entered the promised land and not Moses.
Even today many ask questions about Jesus, yet won’t listen or consider the
truth. Again this man who once sprayed graffiti, leaving his initials, told me
God couldn’t save him. Because he hadn’t seen him. He felt seeing was
believing, God tells us without faith it is impossible to please him, for
believing is seeing. The psycho field has a term for it, normalcy bias, because
I haven’t seen or experienced it, it doesn’t exist. Brought to you by the same
wise folks who claim you are insane if you do the same thing expecting a
different result. Got me there. Yet by denying God, they still expect to go to
heaven, how can they believe in heaven without Jesus? Maybe some quick
graveside inspections might prove Jesus’ claim of resurrection. His is empty,
Mohammed is in his, so is Buddha. So is Joseph Smith, and Brigham Young. And
yours will be full to if you don’t accept Jesus, by faith. Yet many seek him,
but don’t find. They don’t want him, they want a genie in a lamp to take care
of all their problems, no matter how self inflicted they are. Some religions
make you take a course, getting a diploma. Some take works, some make no
promises, but hope only there is no hell. With God it takes only faith.
Believing in your heart, and not being afraid to tell what he has done for you.
But what if you are dumb and cannot speak? To the dissenter, I offer the fruit
of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, and the list goes on. You will
change and others will notice it.
Where we once played Simon Says, maybe we need to remember what Jesus
says. “You must be born again.” Makes no sense, physically you cannot be, but
spiritually you must be. So you can be, but not without Jesus. Where you get
stupid reactions to stupid questions, the answer to who Jesus is is never
stupid. And it is given with an open book test, no studying to be saved, just a
change of heart, taking a chance based on faith. Hoping, and finding out that
he is the truth you were looking for. Don’t get busted by being cute...only
Jesus saves.
Some choose Tom Waits’ way, they rather have a bottle in front of me than a
frontal lobotomy. Some would rather wait, after all they have time. Isn’t
Jesus just for old people and women? How wrong can you be? Thomas Watson
founder of IBM once said he thought a market for only five computers existed.
Harry Warner wondered whoever wanted to hear actors talk? Man will never fly,
or walk on the moon. The Mets will never win the pennant, and the Dodgers will
be in Brooklyn forever. Some may tell you it’s a tradition we never do in our
family. Some deny gravity, until they fall. Do not deny Jesus. He is fact, he
is God. Do not let other people’s opinions become a burden to you. Going to
hell is a self inflicted wound, your choice. Jesus came to save. Your choice.
And in today’s world, it is still a miracle.
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com