feeling powerless is not the same as being powerless

I was talking with Nick yesterday about three different situations of dealing with people in our lives.  People that God has brought into our life to minster to, yet we feel so hollow and sad when they don’t respond, or at least not as we hope they do.  One is a single mother with four children from four different fathers, all absent from their lives.  She needed work, and after meeting her physical needs, and giving her good counsel, I got her two job offers, one she could start the same day.  I thought it strange I never heard back from her, and as expected, two weeks later, she called in trouble again.  Without a job, she showed up only one day after two weeks of applying, was in an accident, and now no better off.  But for two weeks, what were you doing?  What didn’t she do that affected now?  Sadly a recurring theme...just because it is my advice you don’t have to take it, or that it is good, this wasn’t taken, and the results show it.

Another single mother, with two kids, she lost custody of them to their real father, was working, producing more than kids, and her good attitude when I met her showed.  She needed some help, we offered, and she became missing in action, not showing up.  She got a tummy tuck, lost a ton of weight, looked good, and turned into a party animal.  Described as “maybe the worst mother ever,” she neglects the kids, parties until all the hours till dawn, doesn’t work, and is being evicted.  It seems every relationship she had she has ruined, yet calls me, seeking advice, then does the opposite.  I never find joy in being proved right by those kind of actions.  Sadly, it doesn’t have to be this way.

The third guy is a young man, raised in a home of alcoholics.  You can see the excuses being made already.  He got arrested by being stupid, he is a nice man, I love him and have counseled him also.  There have been signs of brilliance, but lately he has disappeared for days.  He had some court responsibilities he has neglected, and now faces doing jail time.  After watching his father receive his ten year clean and sober award, now he claims to be an alcoholic.  How convenient.  At 23 when he has his whole future ahead of him, and it looked bright and promising after the court showed him mercy, he is copping out, it sickens me to see him drowning in stupid, when he doesn’t have to.  Three distinct situations, that really are too common in today’s world....what advice would you give them?  What advice would you take if offered?

There are many times in my life that I feel powerless, financially, socially, but rarely spiritually.  Fortunately.  I have been given good advice over the years, and can brag on it when taken, also when not taken, and been faced with an alternative I hadn’t expected.  Some has sounded good, even had a scripture or two thrown in for good measure, but fell short, as the scripture didn’t exist.  A friend tells me of a Bible study he is in, and when questioning the source of the teaching, found it wasn’t in the Bible as the pastor had taught.  He too was surprised.  Yet we all fall prey to a power structure that isn’t there, if only we had sought the spirit and his guiding, rather than a self help book, or one of the “how to” books filling Christian book stores.  What may have worked for you is not for everyone, lest you think you have attained greatness.  I know I haven’t, learning something new every day, only to be reminded how much I don’t know.  But while some seek knowledge, which puffs up, I seek grace which humbles.  Note that humbling is better and different than being humiliated.  In Christ we all have the power to be overcomers, yet we seek other advice.   Sounds Biblical is not the same as scriptural.  Yet from the newest and most ignorant Christian to the most learned and senior saint, we all have the same Jesus.  40 years of knowing him has not absolved me from learning from younger or less mature saints.  But it can and has been a stumbling block.  If the only thing we share is sin, we neglect the power of Jesus in our lives, and never attain a level where we can love freely, forgive easily, and live gracefully.  Personally I was hurt at first by the above cases not taking my advice, I knew it came from God, but now it hurts more to see their outcome rather than my bruised ego for not having been obeyed.  Maybe I am learning still after all, and that includes loving those who disagree with me. 

Feeling powerless, you are in a great place, for God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.  He makes ways we cannot see, he gives great counsel to those seeking, and we may come out bruised and broken, but closer to him.  Which is our goal, isn’t it?  To know Jesus more and more, like we sing in church?  Jesus offers us resurrection power, the power of his spirit, but reminds us, that it is not by power we live, lest we boast.  Yet we try to exercise our power over situations, and find out that it is not by might, there is always someone tougher, not by power, someone is always more powerful, but by his spirit, for there is none other name under heaven that has such power and might.  The name of Jesus, revealed to us via his spirit.  Still fighting spiritual battles using physical tools and weapons, you will never win.  Your enemy has too many to use on you, but he cannot defeat those of us in Christ Jesus.  You may feel powerless, but the power found via the holy spirit will deal with any and all situations.  The people mentioned above still have a way out, if they seek Jesus and listen to what the spirit is saying.  When we see things in life through the eyes of Jesus, we see more clearly, we hear more clearly, and can proceed more clearly. 

Two men hung on a cross by Jesus, one as close to heaven as he would ever get, one as close to hell as he would ever get.  Don’t wait until the last minute to seek Jesus, both men had a past, only one a bright future.  The miracle on and of the cross takes on a new light when we see ourselves as those thieves, life is not a game we push the start over button on, real people die in wars, not all live to play again.  Wise men still seek him, saved men find him.  Who you see on the cross next to you makes all the difference, it did then, it does now.  Has it to you?

Some seek only advice, Jesus is the answer.  By example.  There is a difference.  Or you can utter the words you should have at first, “everything else has failed, I guess I need to pray.”

love with compassion,

Mike

matthew25biker.blogspot.com

"will there be anything else?"

After a tough week of making decisions, you agree to go out to dinner with your wife.  “Where do you want to go?”  “I don’t know, what are you hungry for?”  And after ten minutes, you both agree on a dinner destination, and then it is are we riding or driving?  Off to dinner, hungrier than ever, you approach the hostess, “how many in your party? I have a table now, about 15 minutes for a booth.”  So tonight you table it, and the waitress arrives, “what will you have to drink?”  After both agreeing on water, she leaves you to peruse the menu, and returns ten minutes later, with your water, “are you ready to order?”  You have been, so grab at the chance, hungrier than ever.  Wifey decides, “do you want salad or soup?”  “What kind of soup?”  “No, I’ll have salad, what kind of dressing do you have?”  You’re next, so get ready.  “I’ll have the roast beef, with mashed and gravy, broccoli, salad with honey mustard, and a roll.”  “Brown or white gravy?”  And with your answer, she is off.....

After gorging on the salads, “do you want any crushed pepper?” “Do you need any more water?”  You push your plates away, full.  “Anyone for dessert?”  “No, we’re full, but what do you have.”  A list of pies and cakes follow, “is that apple or apple crisp?”  “Dutch apple,” and so you agree to split a piece.  “Do you want it ala mode?”  No, just pie thanks, and off she goes again.  After eating your pie, “any night cap or coffee?”  “No, just the check please,” and off she goes, still again.  The check arrives, and you go to pay, “cash or charge, we don’t accept checks.”  Does anyone any more?  As you wait for the credit card receipt, you start to figure a tip, add it in, sign and go.  Being greeted as you leave by the manager, “how was everything?  Will there be anything else?”  You restrain yourself from asking him “would you please get our car,” and two hours later, it’s “do you want to watch TV?”  “I don’t know, what’s on....”  Falling asleep, exhausted, only to admit later the next morning, all I really wanted was a burger and a milkshake.  “Do you want fires with that,”  ringing in your ears....

What you thought would be a simple evening out, turned into a major decision making process.  We go out to eat to relax, to let someone else wait on us, and usually have a pretty good idea of what we want, until we get there.  And the menu appears....to many in Christ, the same thing happens to us.  We come to Jesus, we don’t want to go to hell, and then hell on earth begins.  We aren’t told by the pastor with the pretty hair that to know Jesus is to know suffering, and that we will have tribulation.  We have enough problems in our life, we don’t need God adding more, or so we begin to think.  But as we suffer, from a minor inconvenience to a major catastrophe, we are told “be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world,” from Jesus, but now we have to choose, Jesus or or old ways.  Neither one may look promising, Jesus and suffer as he did, or like a dog returning to his vomit, our old ways.  The last thing we think of is heaven, maybe the reason we came to Christ in the first place, and when we cannot see heaven, we are willing to go to hell, just to get by for now.  Some well meaning person tells you to read God’s promises, the tribulation one is never mentioned, and soon your new life in Christ is slipping through your fingers. Not what you signed up for, but really exactly what you signed up for.  For in these situations, you get to see, a side of him that safe Christians never know, or even hear about.  We are overcomers in Jesus, yet many turn away, rather enjoying a good meal now, than a banquet later.  While some look to do good and impress God with medals, he will look to see the scars we received by serving him.  It is the trials that deepen us in him, the medals stay here when we go. 

In a world where wine and diamonds may be a girl’s best friends, we forget it takes pressure to turn the grapes into a wine.  And time.  A diamond is formed from coal under pressure, we want the end result, don’t think so, give your wife a piece of coal for her finger.  Or ask the waitress for a bunch of grapes, you’ll make your own juice.  You’ll see another side of pressure...But when it is all said and done, we need these forms of tribulation to grow in grace.  To be formed under pressure, to be turned into something, or someone of value.  But we are never to have fear, for it will alter our faith.  “We can do all things in Christ that strengthens me,”  not on our own, or by ourselves.  So he tells us to “cast our cares on him, because he cares for us.”  No magic formula, no magic teaching or prayer.  No book to read, course to take, or sermon to repeat.  Only Jesus.  Those of us who have seen adversity know this to be true.  If you haven’t, you will.  Remember, all you need is found in Jesus Christ.  And if someone asks “will you need anything else,” calmly remind them you have all you need in Jesus.  He only comes one way, ala mode.....it’s been a pleasure to serve you.

love with compassion,

Mike

matthew25biker.blogspot.com

between job blues at a car dealership

I was between jobs with luxury automobile makes, and answered the ad for a service advisor at the local GMC-Jeep-KIA dealer.  The pressure of continued out go with no income was showing its effects, so I applied and was called for an interview, by the GM.  I should have been suspicious when he hired me based on my resume, and I should have been suspicious that when he asked how much money I needed to make, I shot a high figure and he accepted it.  Like the The Beatles song, “ I should have known better...”  But everyone was nice, and first days can be rough days, but I seemed to fit right in.  They paired me with a Bob, who I thought was a softball hooker, he was always on the phone getting offers to pitch for teams, neglecting his customers, so I had to deal with them.  In his defense, he at least reassigned my number to them, so I did get paid for them.  One other advisor had a microwave under his desk where the technical books should be, and was know for asking others “would you get that customer for me?”  The only guy who seemed to know what was going on, was a guy nicknamed Hutch, as in Starsky and Hutch, by a lot attendant, who thought he looked like Hutch, who he confused with Starsky.  I am not making this up.  A man assigned to moving the cars from the service drive I nicknamed Gaucho, a tall Mexican man, he always dressed very nicely, like a gaucho, boots, sometimes a bolo tie, but always a cowboy hat.  I never heard him speak, but he did a good job of moving the cars out, sometimes before I was ready, or the customer was.  More than once, he got between us, and just took the car.  And finally, there was Crystal, a young girl just out of high school who answered the phones and did filing.  Who was known for wearing short shorts, not very professional, and she was a bit chubby, this after all was a dealership, or so it said, and one day when her favorite song came on the radio above her desk, she turned it up on high volume, not knowing it was connected to the intercom of the store, and it blasted everywhere.  Her feelings got hurt when she was told to turn it off and chastised.  “But it’s my favorite song...”

Finally the job got to be too much, I went home for lunch and we would laugh over the morning’s entertainment,  and so I finally quit.  But they wouldn’t let me.  So I stayed, promised things would get better, and after two weeks, I quit again.  Again they wouldn’t let me, and when I asked why,  telling me “because we like you.”  Shades of the Mickey Mouse Club, you might say this was a Mickey Mouse dealership.  But I had checked out, and gave it another week.  Finally on a Thursday after getting paid, I left all my things they provided me on my desk, with a note “I quit,” and never went back.  Which they never quite understood, as they left me a phone message the next morning about 10 am, “what time you coming in today?”  And they are still waiting.

But while there, one of the owner’s sons came up to me and complimented me “we really enjoy listening to you on the phone.”  Everyone likes a compliment, and I didn’t think much of it, at first.  Until it hit me, they were listening in on my phone conversations.  While some surfed the web, or did crossword puzzles, these guys listened in to their employee conversations.  Approaching my boss to complain, he said they always did it, and mine were refreshing to listen to, I was kind, I listened, sold almost every upsell and had great customer rapport.  I was smooth, honest, and put the customer at ease.  Which is all very nice, but still I don’t like being listened into without my OK, or knowledge.  A lesson learned, you never know who is listening!  

I was part of the dealership, but never really a part of it.  Paul writes to the Philipians in regards to their new ancestry in Christ.  You may be a great distance from Rome, but still a Roman.  But now a child of God first, and even though you obey Roman laws and rules, God’s laws take precedent.  Not rebellious, but respectful, as you represent God and the kingdom of him in heaven.  Your true heritage is heaven, and we are expected to reflect it.  Something we cannot do on our own, as we need to be dependent on the spirit, it can save yes, but also guide and provide.  A Christian life is a different process than being a citizen of a country, you are to portray Christ in your lifestyle, it is the indwelling of Jesus Christ in you that shapes your personality, you are to be a witness, not witless.  We do pretty good until we start to depend on ourselves, and leave ourselves open to conflict.  Our enemies may not be a coworker, but always the devil wanting to get a foothold and cause dissent.  Just confusion can be enough, even if it is your favorite song.  We see this in ourselves when we get discouraged, for we are wanting our way instead of the spirit’s, and people notice, even if we don’t.  Pride can form a tough external barrier between us and Jesus.  Fortunately God forgives, and when we are self dependent instead of spirit driven, we get worried, anxious, irrational, and timid and impatient.  Just the opposite of the fruit of the spirit.  Just because you are in a crazy situation, doesn’t mean you have to participate. 

And don’t let situations get between you and other Christians.  We need to stand firm in Christ, if divided, we can fall prey, as the enemy seeks to destroy by separating us or turning us against each other.  So stand firm in Jesus, be spirit led instead of self led, keeping our eyes on Jesus.  We cannot do this ourselves, we need Jesus!  When we find our conduct worthy of Christ, others will listen and see him in our lives.  Just like my conversations were listened in on, I hope they saw a part of Jesus in them. as they knew I was a Christian,and held me to a higher standard.  Even if they themselves weren’t.  The dealership made money, the employees were happy, but had achieved something less than professional, a standard that was below standard.  Like the frog in the heated tray, it felt good until the heat will be turned up someday and it will kill them.  I was trained to serve, and I hope I did.  Maybe a short conversation between the service manager and a customer explains it best, when a woman asked for a loner car for her KIA, she was told “mam, you own a loaner car.”  By a man who was always bragging about his church, between arguments over the best tequila.  Who never mentioned Jesus.  I wonder, if we listened in on his prayers what we would hear?  Which makes me wonder, what about mine?  What about yours?  I hope I don’t talk to God the way I do to others.  If only I would talk to them like I do in my prayers, maybe they just might listen.  Worth a try don’t you think?

love with compassion,

Mike

matthew25biker.blogspot.com