Why is it that when a girl goes out with her girlfriend, we understand who she means, yet if a man goes out with his boyfriend we think he is gay? And maybe you can explain why men have mistresses, but women have lovers, when it is the same sexual experience for both. Or maybe it is more than sex...
Years ago Triumph ran an ad that gave some insight into why we do things, but possibly raised more questions than it answered. It depicted a very pretty women, blond like Bo Derek, wistfully watching as a man was looking at his motorcycle, with his helmet in hand. It showed a moment of intimacy between the bike and the man, and the look on Bo's face said as much as her words. "I wish he looked at me that way..." and we wonder what is the problem with this guy-Bo Derek or a motorcycle? Give her a helmet and take her with you. And after reading how great the new Triumphs are, her final line is "if only she was another woman, at least I could compete..." And we soon realize that all is not fair in love and war-or motorcycles.
And it doesn't have to be motorcycles that causes men to have affairs, or women lovers. Watching a history of Harley Davidson on TV they told how the early Davidson brothers were 7/24 workaholics, and even on Christmas, the wives were content if their husbands were home by 830-pm, not am! And certain things have always captivated men's hearts and souls-some are devoted to sports, working out, or an organization. They devote themselves to it 24/7, and live and breathe it, unaware that not everyone shares their warped devotion, and finding fault with those that don't. A narrow, selfish mind, that believes they are right, and the rest of us are wrong-we just don't measure up unless we do it like they say, by their rules, and within their organization. The Greeks have a saying, fish start to stink at the head, and they never get a whiff of the stink they leave behind. Praising its leaders, and never questioning them-that would be so unloving.
And when this obsession comes between you and God, sin enters. Soon you follow the organization's corporate line, and disregard church, the club becoming your new place to worship. And when your church misses you, you find them not worthy, and nosy and pushy. And that you know better, they are all misled-somehow you missed all the rhetoric and found your social salvation in this ministry. Now not all club affiliation is bad, until it gets between you and God. Until it is your new gospel, and you start making excuses.
Not all affairs are sexual, many things can come between two people in a relationship. A mistress is not necessarily a woman, but something even more dangerous. I have watched over the years as a man so devoted to his ministry, has found fault with all others, and those who go on to better things. And when he marries, his wife unknowingly has to fight with this inanimate mistress. He doesn't get it, and she has no say. Oh, she can join in and accompany him, but it is all about the ministry, or organization. We celebrate anniversaries and birthdays at their events, and it is always ministry first, her second. And like the Triumph girl said, " if only it was a woman so I could compete." A relationship never fully developed between man and wife, because she never had a chance. He chooses a mistress, when all she wants to be is his lover, and loved.
And so it is with God, too. He's God, and not a competitor. He never loses, but we do when we make bad choices. And we don't realize how they effect others, because we are so narrowly focused on anything but God. We try to adapt God to our life, rather than adapting to Him. And He wishes we would look to Him like we look to our mistress-a spiritual mistress bringing sadness, instead of Him bringing joy. Some finally do, but it is the broken lives that they leave behind that didn't have to happen-organizations, motorcycles, and the world make poor substitutes for a relationship with God. Yet we wallow in the excuses we make for not choosing Him, or worse yet think we have, deluded by the world's interference in our lives.
I can see another ad, with the same girl riding up on her own Triumph with her husband. Both enjoying life, and full of joy. All smiles, as she doesn't have to compete-and her husband looks at her in admiration-and she looks back the same way. And in the distance, the other guy looks back and says, "if only she had looked at me that way...if only she could have looked past her selfish desires..." He still doesn't get it.
Choose Jesus today, and never look back. Look at Him first, then you find you enjoy your riding more. Make Him first in your marriage, putting your wife above everything but Him-remember she is your first ministry, and watch as you two minister together in a life full of love, guided by God instead of some club's rules. The freedom to grow together, and depend on God, instead of some organization and its rules. Experience true freedom in Jesus, and remember the reason men and women stray is that they don't get it at home. Put love first in your marriage, then all other things. No mistresses, female or other. No lovers, but your own husband or wife. Minister together in love, independent on each other. You cannot legislate love-why are you still trying?
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com