Jason and Ryan, from the Triumph store in Metuchen, NJ were cool and took the Tiger in late in the day without an appointment for an oil change. While the bike was being serviced, two women came to pick up the one woman's Honda. She was very loud, an obvious drama princess, not quite a queen, more of a dictator, and while waiting for her bike told me how her and her friend were riding to Niagara Falls that weekend, and then we got on the subject of riding in West Virginia. The three of us sharing road stories, and becoming friends. Then Ryan wheeled up her bike and her whole attitude changed.
"I tol him da lights were wacky, stupid, he dint fix nuttin. Idiot." And then proceeded to call him a list of unprintable names, insulting his heritage and accusing him of physically impossible acts. Then when Ryan walked into the room, she jumped him, thankfully only verbally. "I knew ya was lazy. You dint fix the wacky lights." To which Ryan replied, "we checked them out, and they work." She replied, "they're bent." Wacky obviously meaning something other than what Ryan thought. She had obviously hit something and damaged them, equating her riding skills with those of her lack of social graces. So Ryan took the bike around, as she continued to berate him to anyone who would listen, sadly I was her audience. And I wondered, if he was so bad, why did she bring her bike there? And better yet, why did he take it in?
To calm her, I told her they would bend them back, and they would be fine. And that wacky obviously meant something different to him than her. And me-she was wacky. So as we watched, just as I told her, some big guy bent them back, and then she rode off-I can't say happily, and I don't think thanks was part of her vocabulary, but at least she was gone, probably in search of her next victim, to deal with another wacky problem. And I wondered if I should call ahead and issue a warning to the Falls of her planned ride, but then I was reminded of three things about the Garden State.
One-Archie Bunker once remarked to Meathead, "no one wants to live in Jersey, but someone has to." So she did.
Two-on all toll bridges and tunnels leaving Jersey, you pay leaving the state. No one pays a toll to get into Jersey. They are only set up to pay to leave. A comment I was told by a Port Authority worker. He thought it was funny.
Three-a repairman told Theresa while we were there, after being yelled at, and her explaining she wasn't used to such rudeness. "I'm from here, I'm used to people being rude all the time." Why be nice when a good insult will do just as well?
So I guess all was OK in Jersey that afternoon, and being a stranger in this strange land, I was the one out of step with local customs. Maybe I was wacky. But I also know Ryan could have avoided the whole issue if he had asked questions about what wacky meant. Or at least identifying her as wacky. While at Mercedes Benz, we took the attitude that many times the customer needed fixing, the car was doing what it was trained to do. For instance, a conversation I had many times, mostly with women, who were more attuned to their cars than the men.
Woman-"My car makes a loud buzzing noise all the time.'
Mike-"Will it do it right now?"
W-"no."
M-Well than it doesn't do it all the time. Do you notice it more when just starting, or after driving?"
W-"Just starting. Then it goes away."
And I would be able to explain it was an air pump, part of the emissions, perfectly normal, and some were louder than others. Not a problem. A customer fixed, they always thought I was so smart-an illusion, and they loved their car again. Just because I asked questions.
There are three key ways to effectively minister-which you cannot do outside of the spirit's guidance. Most important to note that first.
One-identify the problem. They may not be mad at you, you are just the audience. Sometimes they will tell you, sometimes you have to listen, and sometimes you have to ask. But first-deal with the problem, and not the symptom. And without knowing the problem you can't help.
Two-How can I help? Again, they may or may not tell you, so be aware, and don't be afraid to ask "how can I help?" Still listening. Still praying.
Three-where are they with Jesus. Once you find out, then you can address the problem. You can't address a spiritual problem by erasing a symptom. It won't work. Band aids hide the wound, but the scars remain. Let God guide you, give Godly advice-NO preaching, and ask to pray. Be courteous. Godly advice only works if taken, and works more often when given in love. Then follow up-give of yourself, just as Jesus did to us. Greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend. Even when it means going out of your way. That's love. Even in New Jersey.
I hope this woman made it to Niagara Falls, and they both survived her visit. Fixing bikes should be left to a pro-even wacky lights can be repaired as she found out when the real problem was identified. But things of the spirit should be left to the one who created, knows, and loves you the most. Seek Jesus today for even the smallest thing. Make the three ministry guides part of your lifestyle, and watch as you too fix people, but only with God's help of course.
I hear it even works in Jersey. Bet yas dint know dat?
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com