Sometimes it is best not to say anything when trying to comfort someone in distress. I have seen in too many instances where someone who was very well meaning, shift the attention to themselves by opening their mouth. Perhaps the most common words I hear at funerals, in hospitals, or after a tragedy are "I understand how you feel." When I got hit two years ago, twice in one year, some very well meaning people, who I know care about me, tried to console me. One man in particular, told me "I know just how you are feeling. I understand just what you are going through." To which I replied, "really. Well I sure don't. Maybe you can explain it to me." His silence revealed he really didn't, but cared so much he wanted to.
I avoid saying things like that in any situation. Emotions are a very personal thing, and based on relationships. When people try to impress me with their knowledge, I'll ask "what does that mean?" Often times they don't know, or go into damage control. I guess you're not supposed to ask, just go along with the show. "Been there, done that." I hear this when I talk of the Hollister Rally. Oh, you were with me when Sonny and I talked about trademarks. And later when we passed crossing the street, he made it a point to stop and shake my hand, acknowledging me as a friend. With a smile. "We just got back from a trip, too. 1500 miles in two weeks." Mine was 11,000 miles in 37 days. Only 9500 miles and 22 days apart. We mean well, but we really don't understand.
Since I get to ride so many new Triumphs, sometimes I spend more time with them than the ride test editors. I know how they feel, and what they can do over 1000-1500 miles, not just a wild weekend ride. I can relate to what they say, and I know how they will behave in day to day riding. But I don't understand how they feel under full on, let's ride it like it's stolen conditions. Same bike, different riders. Different attitude. It's that personal.
I mourn for Angela and Olivia over the death of Josh. But I never could, or would want to go through what they are going through. It's that personal. I have sat and cried with Lynsay over Gavin, but never could know the pain in her heart for her husband. Or his pain for her, and how much he loves his family. There are certain things we are not allowed to understand, God has made it that personal. For without Him, they are just emotions. With Him, it's personal.
Religion tries, but tries to control also. It tries to take something intimate and bring it to a commonality. To make it impersonal so that we all can get along, so we can understand. Jesus never promised understanding, but a peace that surpasses it. And perhaps the best example of this is His mother Mary. When she became pregnant by the Holy Spirit, you could say that she was truly the only person in the history of the world to truly have the word in her-Jesus. No one else could make that claim. Something so intimate that no one could ever relate to it. So she trusted God, very simply the scripture tells us that "Mary pondered these things in her heart." It's that personal. Joseph would never know how personal, although the Holy Spirit comforted him also. But to give her a special place in Christianity takes away from Jesus. God wants nothing to come between us and Him. It's that personal. Ponder that in your heart.
That is why living in the spirit is the only way. All else is just a foolish exercise based on your own understanding, which Proverbs warns us not to do. Based on my experiences, the outcome to many problems would have only been worse. So in all your ways-includes everything and excludes nothing, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. No need to strike out on your own across unknown territory, He has provided the path. He has things under control, do you? Only in the spirit.
Take the time to ponder God in your heart today. Trust Him. Avoid opinions. Pray, listen to the spirit, then confirm it in His word. You will never have the word in you like Mary did, but God will make it so personal you will never care to compare. You will never understand how she felt, but God did. And He does about you too.
I have been in 48 states. You too? On a motorcycle? Coast to coast in under 70 hours? On a motorcycle? Eaten at Primonti Bros? No but had one like it. Been to Times Square on New Years Eve? No but watched it on TV. Maybe you get it now.
I think I'll try to be more like my dog today. She doesn't get it, but wags her tail when she sees me anyway. Love will do that. For money can buy a fine dog, but only love will make it wag its tail. Still don't get it, ask the only one who does. Just please don't tell me you understand. It's that personal.
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com