This is a story more about my wife than me, but really about my friend
Jesus Christ. Although I, and we were central players, it is about God's love
that took us through. I seem to be sharing a lot about my open heart surgery,
but it has made a bigger impact on my life, and those around me, than I
anticipated. In church last night, I wondered if I had become a drama queen,
thinking about what we had been through, but God reminded me that I have putting
Him first, giving Him the preeminence. That what seemed emotionally was drama,
to Him was worship. Here are just a few of the scenarios to back Him up. Never
once did we doubt God had everything under control. And yes, that is me in the
photos. You have been warned.
Jesus tells us that when we are weakest, that God's strength is made
perfect. And also whoever takes care of the least of them, is doing it to Him.
From the time I went to urgent care in Durango, to the two days in Mercy
Hospital-which I thought was two hours, to my being life flighted, to my
surgery, and then recovery, I was the weakest. Unable to function, yet totally
dependent on those around me. Yet I had this peace-way beyond an emotion, or
that words can describe. I had to be kept on life support, as my body could not
sustain itself. And it took the special care of nurses, surgeons, and
specialists to keep me going-all provided by God's grace.
At first I had to be taught to swallow-it seems you can lose the ability,
and all food goes into the lungs instead of the stomach. I was allowed 2 small,
ice chips per hour, which my son had to feed me. I was so weak I couldn't pick
up a spoon-what had happened to the hands that used to grip the throttle? I
couldn't control my body functions, and when finally allowed to get up and walk,
it seemed my legs didn't hear the order. The simplest of things I used to do
without thinking, were now huge tasks. I was the 200 pound toddler, who had to
be changed, fed, and taught to do basic functions all over again.
When released, I had to ride in the back seat only-if an air bag went off
it could kill me-the impact on my sternum, which was broken during surgery,
would not take the impact. Next time you get in or out of a car so
effortlessly, for me it took time. The same getting in and out of bed. I was
not allowed to push, pull, hug, or extend my arms-try functioning without doing
that!
And here is where my wife was the ultimate nurse. She had to shower me,
and wash my hair-while I could only sit on a chair. We both got excited the
first time I stood in the shower, or washed my hair by myself. I couldn't
shave, or even comb my hair. I had to rest both elbows on the table to eat, and
couldn't cut any meat I ate. And when feeding myself, so much food would never
make it from the spoon into my mouth. No the food on my shirt wasn't lunch, it
could have been breakfast-from yesterday. Think of a two year old-and that was
what I was reduced to. Unable to do anything for myself, I was totally
dependent on those around me. And thank God for my wife, who went way beyond
the call of duty. Even administering my antibiotics through my piccs for a
month. I place the blame for her care directly on God-for without the love He
had for me, and the love He gave my wife for me, I would have been reduced to
just another patient in rehab. Today I have a greater appreciation of grace,
mercy, and having been humbled, a stronger dependence on God. Who never left
me-or forsook me. From ER to helicopter to surgery to rehab, I was never
alone. Nor was my wife.
Today this 200 pound toddler can feed himself. I can shave, shower, and
shampoo again. I can put my arms around my wife, and hug her. And I still
spend precious time with God. But I can never find the words to thank her for
being there. Wives take note-the vow says for better or worse, through sickness
and health, till death do us part. My wife has seen the worse, the sickness,
and was faced with death. Only Jesus was her strength-make Him yours.
Husbands-give your marriage over to Jesus-and love your wife as He loved the
church-giving His life for it. I didn't have much to give, but I gave it
all-and today my vows are still honored.
You may not always be in love with your spouse, but always honor your
vows. Just like God honors His word, and His promises, not because of who you
are-but because of who He is. I love my wife because I loved Jesus first, who
loved me first. I have seen His strength made perfect in me, and seen my wife
grow in the love of Christ. From child to adult, to husband, then to 200 pound
toddler-I need Jesus in every aspect of my life.
Today I am alive because of God's miracles. I cling to that. My body
continues to heal, but my soul is growing at an alarming rate. Get close to
Jesus and stay there-today because of His love, I can truly say "it is well with
my soul." And to my wife-I love you-more than words. I see Jesus in you
daily-what more can a husband ask for.
love with compassion,
your 200 pound toddler,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com
