There is a category of friendship that often goes unnoticed, and
undervalued. Some relationships are on a must see, must call basis, or
something is wrong. But at the far end of the friendship spectrum are the
friends who you might only see once a week, month, or a year. Or go years
between visits, and yet you pick up where you left off, confident in your
relationship with that person, knowing it is the quality and not quantity of
time spent that is important. And last month, one of those special friends of
mine, Ivan, changed addresses for good, no for excellent, and only in heaven
will I see him again. Just as it should be. A special friend, a special
relationship, that on the surface may not seem like anything special, but the
best things are left private. So here is a attempt to give some insight into
Ivan you may not know about, a side of him that made him your friend, and how
you wanted to be his.
I met Ivan after starting to attend Calvary Chapel Escondido. At the time
we didn’t know it, but they were about to purchase an empty strip mall, that had
been empty for many years. In and Out was going to put in a store right by our
house, and when the city of Escondido denied them a 70’ sign, they decided to go
elsewhere. Today as a reference the sanctuary is where you would have eaten
your Double Double. But Ivan stepped forward, leading a group of men in
renovating the site into classrooms, and a sanctuary, decorating the grounds,
and seeing they were maintained. A grounds so meticulous that SDG&E was
glad we had adopted their parking lot, and the neighborhood now had some class
to it. Ivan worked tirelessly there, not delegating, but encouraging others by
his actions, and you could feel God’s love and the property reflected it. But
my first lesson from Ivan was about to be taught, as one day we sat and visited,
and he told me how he no longer could volunteer, they had put him on staff, and
now had bosses, and a board to report to. And his labor of love had become a
job, with a paycheck, one that money could never meet in terms of satisfaction
of a job well done for the Lord. Not many knew this, and it would serve as
example to me later in ministry, that the best paying jobs are ones done for
God, the ones He gives you, never mind the salary. Is anyone listening?
Ivan had a heart condition, and had stints installed when I was doing
hospital ministry, before I got sick. He was in Palomar, and it was only family
members allowed to visit. Many who had come to see him were turned away, but
when asked it I was family, I simply said “he’s my brother.” Brothers in
Christ, and was let in, at first with a questionable look, we are separated by a
generation and different last names, but brothers indeed. And I got to visit
him when no one else could, and we used to joke of our special brotherhood, even
introducing each other as brothers. And bringing a smile to his face when I
would visit him later in a nursing home. “Just tell him it’s his brother,” and
I was always greeted with that big smile. Brothers today, brothers forever,
Ivan just got home first. Making heaven that much more valuable to me. A
visual of how it takes a personal relationship with God to get in where no man
may. Jesus was that connection.
Many also knew him as Moses at the Harvest Festivals, and he was
perfect in character. He looked like Moses, sorry Mr. Heston, this guy knew the
author! And many kids would flock to him, hanging on him even when not Moses.
He was Ivan, no last name needed-and the kids loved him, and miss him now. But
like me, Ivan had a son who was always in trouble, and never came to the Lord,
thankfully both mine have and are saved. But Darrin was a special prayer for
me, and kept Ivan on his knees till Darrin passed away a few years ago. Bearing
a burden of knowing his son didn’t make heaven, and reinforcing how important it
is to share Jesus in words and deeds. For like Darrin and Ivan, we can be here
today, yet a memory tomorrow. If only Darrin had seen what his Dad did.
There are many like Ivan out there, evident only in their not
being there, and when things aren’t getting done, we miss them. And I miss my
brother, for that and many other reasons. As Christians we know heaven awaits,
and I know where Ivan is, but I miss him and have for some time. After my open
heart surgery, I have been told to stay out of hospitals, changing my hospital
ministry, but God opening other doors. He is like that, when one closes,
another opens, that we may have missed because we weren’t looking. and although
I visited Ivan a few times in the nursing home, he loved visitors, he understood
why I couldn’t and didn’t visit. And on my last visit, he was laying down,
tired, and told me he just wanted to go home. He was ready for heaven, but God
said “just not yet.” And then I got the simple e-mail a few months later that
he had died. But that really life had just begun for him in a new city, under a
new name, just as God promised. But somehow we will still know each other when
get there, and we will pick up where we left off, for time between visits is
time we are building testimonies. And we will both have much to share. That
was and is my friend Ivan.
History tells us of an Ivan the Terrible. Like the news,
history records the bad guys and their sin more than those of the good guys. So
I wish to recall Ivan as, “Ivan the Lovable.” Maybe just a face in the crowd,
or a man who kids loved, or a man who built a church with his hands encouraging
others, a worker, who was my friend and a friend of many. Ivan the Lovable, a
great example for those who many aren’t, and of a man whose life was changed by
Jesus Christ. No funeral date that I know of, but as Doug assured me the other
night, “look around, these are the friends who will be at your funeral.” Thanks
for reminding me of my brother Ivan when I see you. And for being my friend
too. Ivan would have liked that. A memorial service that lasts more than an
afternoon. A simple man, yet a great example of Jesus in my life. That’s my
brother!
love with compassion,
Mike
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