Friday, April 4, 2014

here's to you Mr. Colfax, who almost made him smile










Mr. Koch, my 9th grade World History teacher must have been born without the ability to smile, or had it surgically removed when he was very young.  He never smiled, and spoke in a monotone cadence, almost rhythmic, that Lello used to make fun of.  His classes were as exciting as listening to someone read the phone book, even the white pages would have more action and enthusiasm.  But one day I was part of the only time we almost saw him smile.  We had finished our tests, and as an oral extra credit, were asked about a group of names, which included Schuylar Colfax.  Could we identify them?  My hand shot up instantly, as all but Mr. Colfax were strange to me.  “He was a former vice president of the United States under Andrew Johnson.”  And the room got quiet.  Now almost everyone knew my dad, who taught American history, so maybe they thought I had an inside track.  But when Mr. Koch asked “how did you know that?”  I replied “I learned it on Jeopardy.”  And for the split second, I saw the ends of his mouth quiver, as they attempted to form a smile.  But couldn’t.  Maybe even some teeth showed, I can’t tell, it happened so fast, but sure enough while the other kids laughed at my answer, Mr. Koch almost smiled.  Which to him was probably a full on belly laugh-the closest we ever saw him show any emotion other than simulated comatose.  Jeopardy?
Surprisingly enough many learn about facts, figures, and other trivial facts from Jeopardy.  Now this was back when the original was on only at lunch time with Art Fleming, as opposed to the semi-entertaining Alex Trebeck, so I must have watched it during a Christmas or Easter break.  Who says you can’t  learn anything from watching TV?  And I was the hit that day.  But I find as I watch it every night, it comes on here at 7pm, just before all the seniors go to bed, that I can learn from it, and feel like over the years I have been attending the University of Jeopardy.  Night school for us many years ago grads, who thought college was just 13th grade, or spent years there avoiding the draft.  “The best seven years of my  life,” a friend once commented about his college career, still sort of a degree.  But after many years, I can tell you things that interest me, but are useless in real life.  Unless, you want to be on Jeopardy.  Which my Uncle Jim did.  He was my dad’s best friend growing up, and had married my uncle’s sister, so was not technically my uncle-thankfully.  He was big, loud, and was known for being offensive, but had risen to the position of Superintendent of Schools for Bucks County, Pennsylvania.  And he was going to be on Jeopardy. 
So he passed the tryouts, and was scheduled to go on the show.  And when we were told what night it was to be aired, we all watched Uncle Jim.  We were ready for his jokes, his antics, and hopefully his big winnings.  What we got was something, or someone completely different.  He froze in front of the camera.  He stared into it, and maybe answered a few questions, taking on the personality of Mr. Koch, never smiling.  And at first it was sad, we were embarrassed, then embarrassed for him.  Then we started to giggle, then laugh, as it was so funny.  He was making a complete fool of himself on national TV-for all to see!He had put his career and his reputation in jeopardy that night, and no one ever talked about it ever-at least not in his presence.  Partly out of fear, partly out of respect, but mostly because at 6’4” and 300 pounds he was much bigger-he still would pick me up and turn me upside down when he saw me even when into being a teenager.  So silence it was....and to this day Schuylar Colfax, Mr. Koch, Uncle Jim, and Art Fleming hold an interesting relationship to me whenever I watch Jeopardy.  And if “Embarrassing moments” ever becomes a Final Jeopardy topic, I’ll bet it all, a true daily double if Uncle Jim is mentioned.  With a smile on my face of course.
When King Solomon was asked by God what he wanted, he replied “wisdom.”  Good answer.  He already had or would go on to be rich, have a 1000 wives, not sure how wise that was, and built parks, cities, monuments, and great tributes to himself.  But he trusted God, and God was so impressed with his request He honored it.  Imagine how he would have done on Jeopardy?  If only he would remember to answer in the form of a question.  So here are few from the BIBLE CHARACTERS category-all worth $1000, just to see where you are with God.  Using the wisdom of Solomon, here goes.  Answers below.
1-How old was Noah when he started building the ark?
2-How old was Jesus when He was crucified?
3-How many books of the Bible did John write?
4-What two disciples were brothers and known as “The sons of thunder?”
5-Who was Jesus’ father?  Careful, this is tricky.
Today I hope you have the wisdom of Solomon when making decisions.  We all have knowledge, but few have wisdom.  I knew who Colfax was, I just needed the right question to answer it.  Perhaps wisdom can be best described as knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but wisdom is knowing not to put it on your fruit salad.  Many know the answers, but we  know the author of the Bible.  We know Him personally, and love Him because He loved us first-sending His son Jesus to die for us.  The correct answer on Jeopardy and in life.  I bet everything on Him, because He has bet everything on us.  Just the mention of His name brings a smile to my face and my heart.  So don’t put your future in jeopardy, turn to Him today and trust Him.  He is the right answer to all your questions.  And you don’t have to answer Him in the form of a question.
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com.
ANSWERS-
1-Noah was approximately 600 years old when he started building the ark, and built it for 120 years.  Which made him about 720 yeas old when the rains came.  Middle aged for his time.
2-Jesus was 33 when he was crucified, ministering for 3 years at the age of 30, the year priests began their ministry. 
3-John the beloved apostle wrote five New Testament books, John, 1,2,3 John, and the Book of Revelation, the last one when 95 years old and after being abandoned to die on Patmos, an island with no plant life on it after being boiled in oil and not dying.
4-James and John were called Sons of Thunder by Jesus.  They were anarchists who wanted to overthrow the Roman government.  Judas was also of an anarchist background, but of a different sect.  James was the first to die a martyr’s death, John became the author in question 3.  What a difference Jesus made in their lives and can make in yours.
5-Although Joseph, a righteous man, was Jesus’ earthly father, God in heaven is His Father.  Mary was impregnated by the Holy Spirit, and Jesus is the son of God.  Here we see the Trinity.  Father, Son, and Spirit-it takes all three to be complete. And we too can call God our heavenly father, and Jesus our brother, and friend.  Via the Holy Spirit.  Separate yet one, the mystery of the ages.