Although we all ride, we are a diverse bunch. From Vespa to Victory, Honda
to Harley, and Triumph to Indian, we all love our rides, but go about it
differently. Here is a sample based on nothing scientific, see where you fit
in. Then go for a ride and prove it.
RIDER-You look for any excuse to go for a ride. Whether going for a gallon
of milk at midnight for your Oreos, taking the long way home, or a quick trip to
San Luis Obispo, you go. You take good care of your ride, it is in top shape
despite its miles. You have riding preferences, but enjoy all motorcycles
because they are motorcycles. Your bike is always ready to go, and small dings
and chips are noted as badges of honor, where and when you got them remembered.
Right now you rather be riding than reading.
CRUISE-NIGHTER-You are all about being seen, and customize your bike
accordingly. You have memorized the Kuryakin catalog, and worn out pages in the
Screamin’ Eagle brochures. Your bike is always shiny, reeks of Armor-All,
including tires, and you observe all warm up procedures. It is low miles, the
longest ride was for the last service, and your leathers match the bike. Some
call you a poser, and you are happy to pose while sitting at The Rock Store.
Some ride, you accessorize.
TUNER-TINKERER-You rather live in your garage next to your bike than ride
it. Every part has been tightened, torqued, or checked for correctness. Oil is
changed before it gets dirty, you have a full set of gauges to check engine
performance, and all the latest gadgetry to increase performance. You are not
content until you find the last few horsepower, and still look for the perfect
dyno to get it for you. You never have been into the engine, but have receipts
for the shop who has. Bike is low miles, and runs better than it looks. And
you have another just so one is always running.
MODIFIER-RACER-Stickers cover many wounds from low siding at speed. Your
only thought is how can I go faster? Engine size doesn’t matter, your bike is
always the fastest, although rarely tested. No speedo, only tach, oil pressure,
and temp gauges, it only is seen and ridden on track days. You talk about
touring, which means track days across the state. It is more stock than you
care to admit, looks faster than it is. Highlight is from SCTA sticker, but was
taken from another bike that you took to Bonneville that was your friend’s. Do
my leathers make my bike look big?
RESTORER-Originality and perfection are your gods. No bike from an
assembly line ever looked this good, or would. Any repaint is from NOS factory
paint, only NOS or new parts used, and even tires have original build dates to
match those of the bike. You have brochures and ads from new, and can be like a
CRUISE-NIGHTER on Sunoco 260. Your bikes are never ridden, and see most miles
from the back of an enclosed van. Low or no miles, and after rebuild your wife
parks her new car in the driveway so she won’t ding it. Not her decision. The
few rides never see redline, as you don’t want to hurt the engine. Only wears
clean and pressed t-shirts of your favorite brand.
HOARDER-Somewhere in your garage is your motorcycles. Some came in boxes,
some actually ran, but you have an obsession to keep finding parts because they
are obsolete. Misunderstood, someday they will thank you . You have at least
12 cylinder heads, with gasket sets to match, various pistons, shifters, parts
books, and old microfiche. You have never finished a project, but promise to be
ready for next year’s Hansen Dam Ride. Your trash cans are filled, but you
never empty them, just getting another as you may need the old parts someday.
You never sell, but often buy-who can pass up a deal like that?
TROPHY-HOUND-Your bike is meticulous, and you spend weeks before a show
polishing it. You were delighted when Armor-All became available in 55 gallon
drums, and no waxing rag is used twice. You only go to invite only shows, your
bike is perfect, but never to you. Carpets are laid down on grass so blades of
grass don’t get in treads. You carry all your trophies with you, and never park
next to anything that may embarrass you. Only specific brand meets draw your
interest, and although you ride, you never got a license. The trailer your bike
rides in is nicer than your house. Wife #3 just left you, you didn’t realize it
until to weeks later when she didn’t show up with wax for the trophies at last
year’s meet. On the back of a friend’s motorcycle.
ONE HIT WONDER-Low on funds, you bought a leftover from 3 years ago..
Cheap. It was low production, maybe a low price come on to get you into the
dealer. It has drum brakes, carburetors, no tach, and a basic black paint job.
You never will see another due to the fact that the only other one was sold on
the opposite coast. You tell everyone it is limited production, just not why.
You keep it perfect, and wear earplugs while riding and parking, so you can’t
hear others laughing behind your back. When you tell them just how unique your
ride is, they can’t believe it, but really can’t believe anyone bought one to
start with. Leftover for a reason. So is motorcycle.
PROFESSOR-This guy communicates with the engineers at the factory, they
just never call back. He starts out trying to reinvent the wheel, and ends up
with a flat tire. He knows every fact abut the bike, down to the date and time
it was built. He knows minute details about his model, and why it is better
than yours. He may not even own a bike, but is ready for the right deal to come
along. He claims he has a motorcycle, claims the old Puch moped with streamers
and reflectors is his son’s, who has Harley tattoos. But has been seen at 25mph
hanging on for dear life on quiet Sunday afternoons when the Chargers are on.
Knows all, rides nothing. Claims the Internet is infallible. Even the nicest
people on Hondas don’t like him.
Although we all claim to be Christians, and love Jesus, we are a diverse
bunch. From Lutheran to Baptist, Presbyterian to Catholic, and Calvary Chapel
to Fundamentalist, we all love Jesus, just go about it differently. Again
nothing scientific, see where you do or don’t fit in. Then go to church and
prove it.
RIDER-You love God and all his people. You love to fellowship, and never
miss a service or chance to serve. You invite visiting missionaries to stay
with you, read your Bible, attend prayer meetings, and rather talk about God
than anything else. You have a passion for Christ, and your life is full of
testimonies. In failure you seek Christ, in victory praise him. Right now you
rather be out serving, and cannot understand why everyone else isn’t.
CRUISE-NIGHTER-We all know just where you sit in church, and have your own
section. First time visitors beware. You are the first to tell the pastor
afterwards how great his message was, and each week ask for prayer for the same
thing. Your car has all the latest bumper stickers, never miss a special
speaker, and never anything but a new shiny, Bible cover. Your kids are named
after Bible characters, you have memorized the Bible, but just not sure who
Jesus is. You think everyone wants to be like you, and still cannot understand
why everyone avoids you. They must be jealous, yeah, that’s it.
TUNER-TINKERER-You tend to church hop, being out every night of the week,
while your family suffers. But you wouldn’t know it, you are busy reading the
latest self help book. You are legalistic to point of heresy, and if it ain’t
King James it just may be. Your church is the only true church, and you are
looking for that perfect church. You have been to Billy Graham, and various
Harvest Crusades, taking copious notes on what Billy said wrong, but never
getting to meet him and correct him. Free advice given to all, just never
taken. Do as I say not as I do. Says all, knows nothing.
MODIFIER-RACER-Always looking out for himself, church hops everywhere. No
foundation of beliefs, thinks Buddha has good ideas, too. Self help books line
his shelf, has been to Israel many times looking for God. Talks a good game,
but is known to wander from the truth. Looking for love in all the wrong
places, just doesn’t know it. Believes in performance based salvation, using
him as the benchmark. When a better God comes along, he is ready.
RESTORER-He will only read the Old Testament in Hebrew and the New in
Greek. He doesn’t want to miss out on anything that may have been
mistranslated. Originality counts, has been known to carry a Greek dictionary
with him. Always willing to argue over fine points of scripture, he is proud to
tell everyone Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th, and is never invited back to
Bible studies, he claims the rest are hypocrites, and his way is the only way.
Has figured out physical description of Jesus from other texts, now working on
whether Mary was a blond or brunette. Has no conception of salvation, for he
has never sinned. But is a self pronounced authority on what is best for you.
No scars that show, but many deep inside.
HOARDER-You know these guys, they take notes and stuff them in their
Bible. They still have announcements from 10 years ago, but can’t find them.
Shelves at home are filled with old palm branches, Baptismal records, and photos
of the church, from ground breaking to the latest remodel. He has trouble
referring to his notes, the pages of his Bible keep getting in the way, so he
doesn’t read either. Old tube radio in den set to religious station from
Oklahoma he can only get on clear nights, insists of only hearing the real
gospel. Believes God may be dead, and Elvis alive, if only he can find the
notes he took about it. Still waiting to go on that elusive first retreat. God
is in here somewhere....
TROPHY-HOUND-How many people do you know who have met the Pope? Danced at
a Jewish festival in Jerusalem? Knocked on Billy Graham’s door in North
Carolina, and can tell you all about it? His testimony is of meeting big name
people, and his walls are lined with pictures of him with them. Saved by
association, you don’t have to ask. He was once shown a picture of his 14 year
old son and thought it was a young Max Lucado. He can be known to know it all,
or at least those who do, but suffers in the reality department. Guilty by
association, just not with Jesus. Always buys the first round as the crowd only
gets bigger...and more opportunities for a photo op. Claims wife was a direct
descendent of Aimee Semple McPherson, whoever she was.
ONE HIT WONDER-He got saved his first time to church and never went back.
It just can’t get any better, and stays away from fellowship so it won’t. He
doesn’t share with his kids, it’s up them to figure it out like he did. Is very
critical of the church, and blames them for his problems. He is bitter to his
wife for she goes to church, and he makes jokes about her to her face. He even
has a Jesus sticker on his car to prove he is saved. Believed to be the main
reason people don’t like going to church. Swears, drinks, and has had an
affair, another one hit wonder. Usually found in groups of one.
PROFESSOR-As a hobby, proof reads Bibles then contacts printer with
errors. Few phone calls returned. Knows Jesus’ name in 12 languages, yet can’t
find a church that is deserving of him. God is all intellect, and he cannot
fathom why God made such imperfect people he must live with. Refuses to go to
church, they all lie anyway, will not tithe, although he memorized Micah, and
wrote a paper on it for the Watchtower Society. Thinks Jesus is taking God’s
name vain, spends time looking for the lost Ark of the Covenant. Belief system
based on heretical writings, various opinions, and Hollywood scripts. Tries to
be good, and cannot stand those that aren’t. Sunday mornings spent listening to
various TV evangelists, then calling in and correcting them. Believes in UFO’s,
the three wise men may have been form Mars. No proof of heaven because he
hasn’t seen it, I hope he believes in hell, that is where he is headed. Saved
by brains, not by faith. And can prove anything he believes, if your mind is
liberal enough.
So there you have it, funny yet true. Scary yet true, somewhere in there
we all live. Take the time today to spend with Jesus. Read his word,
fellowship with other believers, go to church, and communicate with Jesus. Just
like Acts 2:42 says. Be the church, one we want to be part of and go to. Not
all who wander are lost, but all who wonder need Jesus. Take a ride to church
today, meet others,and share testimonies. No right answers, only Jesus. E
pluribus unim, from one comes many, make sure the only one is Jesus. Now you
were saying....
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com