A wise sage once wrote “you can never go back home,” but you can visit.
After living in 6 states, owning houses in three, and where I grew up on the
other coast, I don’t want to go back home. But I do like to visit, if only when
passing through. When Christopher comes back from Spain, even though gone for a
few months, he notices differences in Escondido. To us in our daily lives we
don’t notice the changes, but when we are away and return our before and after
pictures change. When driving in the Easton area of Pennsylvania, I can
remember Bethlehem Steel buildings from when I was young, today, or on my last
visit three years ago they are old and abandoned, and have been for decades.
Yet somehow when I stop and listen, you can hear the past, and see life where
there is now debris. Across the old bridge Jimmy’s Hot Dog Stand used to sit in
a round walk up, now he is in a strip mall in Easton across the river. And a
battle raged a few years ago when someone took over his old building, and
renamed it, close but not Jimmy’s, and has misled a new generation. One who
doesn’t remember the past or truth, and is misled. Has history been rewritten
or just forgotten?
Going back to Scotch Plains I see the Sweet Shop now sells orthopedic
equipment, but Tiffany Drugs is still next store, for 60 years now. No more
“don’t lean your bikes against the windows...” as we often heard. Crestwood
Cupboard is gone, now a Russian owned gas station is there. How often we walked
over the bridge and counted the cars on the trains going there. The Corner
Store in Fanwood is gone, now sells realty. Many years back it moved the middle
of the block, and renamed “The Corner Store in the Middle of the Block,” but
wasn’t the same. Not without Dave standing behind the counter blowing smoke
from his stogie, trying to catch kids lifting candy. The Shell station once
sold Sunoco, the Dean Oil station now sells BP, Pierkarski’s Texaco is now a
Dunkin’ Donuts, and Korvette’s is no longer at the Blue Star Shopping Center.
An outdoor shopping center where your parents could drop you off all day and you
could shop even if you had no money. Korvettes had the world’s largest record
department, a huge toy area, and SS Kresges, now K Mart was a few stores down.
We had older friends who worked at Thom McAn selling shoes in high school, Eddie
Tucker’s mom worked at Larkey’s, a men’s store. All gone now, as discount
houses, 99 cent stores replaced them, and it is run down and old. But not in my
memory..
La Grande Park where we played ball all summer now has gates to keep kids
out when closed. No more Thursday night summer movies, or concerts. The old
clubhouse is now modern, I wonder if it still smells of burlap and baseball
after a summer rain? Going by I remember hitting my first home run over the
fence, and many after. But telling my sons when along they don’t see what I do
or did. “That’s where we used to play when growing up..” and I can relate to
them too, as when driving in downtown Bangor, my Dad used to tell me the same
thing. Many visits to Bray’s News Stand that sold anything from papers to toys,
Auntie Bray was like one of the family. When movies were 50 cents, I remember
the Bangor Movie House was still 35 cents. And free movies in the summer at the
park next to the cemetery. Where I once spent the night in the mausoleum, now
closed and locked. Maybe the dead are finally resting.
Driving up Algonquin Drive I can remember Nutty Kenny living next to
Scotty, Big Kenny living next to the Farleys, and Ricky near us. Where we used
to walk in the woods at the end of the street is now paved and has lights. How
many imaginary monsters we used to look for when sleeping out have fled from
there but still remain as they did 50 years ago to us? Our old high school has
gone through another facelift, and the hedges where we borrowed every other ones
one night for Lenny’s new home are now gone, a parking lot. Shackamaxon
Elementary School went private for awhile, then became a rehab center. No more
school bells announcing the end of recess...no more running in the halls. La
Grande School is a care facility, still majestic on the hill, and Terrill Jr.
High is now a Middle School.
So I find when I go back, every few years more has changed than I
remember. And mostly I ride or walk the streets alone in my memories, as
Theresa and the boys get bored of hearing my old stories. But as much as the
old places have changed, and are changing, so have I and so do I continue to
change. But my values are the same, and even more deeply in bedded deep in my
memory vault. Lessons learned from teachers still haunt me today about running
in the hall, washing your hands after using the bathroom, and waiting for the
bell until you go to lunch. Anxiously awaiting the first day the park opened,
and choosing new teams for the summer. Maybe one last trip to the Sweet Shop
before candy went from 5 to 6 cents, causing an uproar in our 10 cent budget.
One more “$2 please” at the Sunoco, full service only in Jersey. And as I met
with Fu yesterday, explaining at my age I have more years to look back on than
years to look ahead.
We talked last night that if ever by Jimmy’s I would have a hot dog,
breaking my post surgery diet. And realized I would feel just as bad if I did
as if I didn’t. But one thing that hasn’t changed for me is Jesus Christ in my
life. I was blessed to have great teaching when first saved, and still read Ray
Stedman today, and his teachings of 2 Corinthians. Being told we were cracked
pots, but that God’s light could be seen through the cracks, as we are his
light. That even though after a great day, you still may have a flat tire the
next morning. And that God didn’t abandon you, but allowed it so you would turn
to him. It seems that the more I change, that God stays the same. Never
changing, his love for me still more than I can even imagine, and how Jesus
accepted me for who I was, seeing potential and saving me. His love being best
described as unqualified acceptance, which I need to work on, like the lady in
the SUV on her cell her cuts me off. People who don’t like motorcycles, family
who rather have a root canal than see me, and in all situations be reminded how
much Jesus gave to save me. Can I at least be a little more considerate? Good
and kind?
I find I give thanks to the Lord in words and even in deeds, but my
thoughts and attitudes still need some work. I am still competitive, and want
to win, but now not at all costs. Victory is sweeter in Jesus, and has a whole
new meaning. My parent’s generation is almost gone, and I don’t want to be
known as some old fool. Being a young fool should have been enough. I desire
to be known as a man of God, but to be in the world rather than separated from
it. I want to be where the action is, and not just spectate. I want to apply
God’s love to others, not just study about it. I want to be a doer, not just a
sayer. My life reflecting what I learned in church, but practiced in the
world. I want to be the same, to have the same values in church as I do out.
How many dare pray that with any sincerity? Remember that the next Sunday after
church at the grocery store....
Jesus has given me many great memories, my mind filled with a vault of 35mm
memories. And with many of my friends retiring we look back at careers, but I
look back at my life. And for 40 years Christ has been my life. And now with
more time in retirement, I want to get out and share him even more. I cannot go
back, but I can look ahead, and heaven is one day closer than yesterday, to all
of us. I have come along way from $2 fill ups, my first Honda, and my paper
route. I haven’t been to the movies in 38 years, my kids still think I grew up
in a back and white world. I may have, but when Jesus entered it I saw colors I
never knew existed, and life I didn’t know I didn’t have. Give thanks to the
Lord for he is good, his love endures for ever. Jesus is that love, the person
of love. And I am his and he is mine. And I have an eternity of memories to
look forward to. So maybe you cannot go back home, but someday I will be home,
where my eternal residence will be. Walking the streets of gold, “that’s where
David lives, John lives, Fu lives.” My new neighbors for eternity. And my wife
and sons there too. Who will be their neighbors? Who will be yours? His love
endures forever....”hi neighbor!”
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com