When we moved to Durango I made the stupid claim “I’ll shovel horse manure
if that’s what it takes to move here,” and ended up dumping crappers on
Trailways buses. Working out of a petroleum jobber in the small town, had me
doing many tasks, most of them fun or OK, bus crappers not included. But living
in Colorado at 6500’ winter lasts longer than summer, and our first winter there
we had over 500 inches where we lived at the lake, Theresa wanted to live in a
cabin. Fortunately young and stupid didn’t evolve into old and stupid, and the
first winter there was harsh to say the least. We had to park our Rabbit on the
road, no plowed road to our cabin, and attach a broom handle so the plow could
see it in the snow drifts over 8 feet tall. Getting to work was a long tedious
ride, 27 miles, but we made it every day, just don’t leave before the plows we
learned. And working with cars, trucks, and buses was mainly an outside job.
Below zero as a high temp some days was tough on the hands and body, once cold
you never fully warmed up. And even in the heated office, we still had no hot
water for washing up with, cheap boss the reason. But somehow we made it, as
many of those before us, and can look back now with a “did we really do that”
attitude.
But working in a service station, not just a gas station, we dumped buses,
fueled buses, pumped propane, and various solvents, fixed tires, and installed
snow tires. Which was a big thing, and studded was the way to go. Using an old
hand stud gun, it would take hours doing just one tire in between customers and
going out in the cold. Diesel would congeal in the cold, and be hard to pump,
one night we poured some on the ground and watched it gel, and kicked it
around. Using an old steam heater, which are illegal now, many times we had to
push trucks and once a bus into the bay and shoot the fuel lines until they
loosened up. Over 212 degrees coming out of the gun, while standing in 20
degree cold. All in a service station built in the 1930’s, where we provided
full service, no matter the heat or cold. Carrying on the traditions of former
pump jockeys, and braving the cold for $2.25/hour. Be careful what you ask for,
you just may get it. Manure shoveling comes in all forms.
Today what seems like foolishness, and it was then too, was really bragging
on what we did. We were proud of the fact we worked in the extreme cold,
somehow it made us more manly than those confined to an indoor job in a heated
building making more than minimum wage. Not sure if we were bragging or
complaining, but I was glad to have the paycheck, and we lived in the cabin in
the forest by the lake. But too often we would put on our church face and no
matter how cold, broke, or hungry we were, would tell everyone who asked “we
were doing fine.” Lying through our teeth, and they knew it, and we knew they
knew it, but continued the dialog anyway. Never admitting or being honest
enough to admit we were miserable, our pride wouldn’t allow it. But we were
just doing what we had been told in church, maintain a positive attitude, which
would allow us to evade the truth. But appear holy on the outside. I believe
the word is hypocrite, we were one thing on the inside, but another on the
outside, but cold in both. It would take the spirit moving in our lives to warm
our hearts and point it out. And after 30 years of no winter in So Cal, I can
say it was more than the weather that made us cold, for today you can still be a
hypocrite, cold on the inside, warm on the outside, and deny it to all but your
audience.
If you were called it hypocrite how would you answer? When confronted with
that one night in a Bible study my answer was “I would admit I was, and ask for
forgiveness, I don’t want to be that way. I rather be the same in church and
out of church.” Wrong answer as the table of hypocrites launched on me, they
wanted to go on to the next question, avoiding the answer. But in silence
confirming on the outside what was in the inside. We had all fallen into being
a church person, acting holy at church, but being different in public. We are
hypocrites. And my personal battle, which upsets many, is I am the same in
church and outside. Those in church are are afraid of my boldness in living,
and those outside can confront me. But I do all I can to not be a double minded
Christian. What you get from me is real, so deal with it. Jesus does, he isn’t
finished with me yet. When scripture warns that bad company corrupts good
morals, are we guilty of our double minded way of life? That is taught and
encouraged by the church?
The greatness of your words will only have true meaning with an attitude of
love behind them. Caring. About more than yourself. To the outside world we
talk of love, but don’t love. We talk about forgiveness, but don’t forgive. We
talk about acceptance, but don’t accept. And we talk about giving, but only
have our hands out. We have fallen into tradition, and Jesus warns it is wrong
and dangerous. We have become self righteous, saying the right words, and even
having the right doctrines. But God knows the heart, and wants us to repent and
change. By his spirit, not by some pastor’s book, some denominational doctrine,
or trend. When we are honest with ourselves, we are honest with him, and can be
ourselves with others, maybe the hardest thing you will ever do. We need to
realize that when we are hypocrites we are not pleasing to God...and annoying to
others. Case in point...
We were taking a detour to the Hollister Rally last year, and came upon a
Christian motorcycle booth offering water. We stopped, and once they found out
we were Christians, the attitude changed. We were talked to differently now,
and one woman, who I wanted to punch in the mouth, ended each sentence with
“praise the Lord.” It was church talk, in the middle of nowhere. She was
phony, I wonder how she would have reacted if she knew that organization had
dismissed me because I followed God rather than their questionable doctrines?
Do you talk the same way outside of church as you do at church? I later asked
Theresa “I wonder if she says “well praise the Lord” if told her car needs $1000
worth of repairs, or gets a phone call she has cancer?” God is listening, and
seeing what encourages our words. Did she miss a good chance to shut up? Do
we?
We will all behave hypocritically at times, but when seeking God, being
guided by his spirit, and truly loving, we will see blessings. The next time
the sermon is on giving, go up and ask the pastor for some money, tell him you
are hungry. See what his reply is....and be ready to forgive him. Too many
times we have needed and been turned down, how many ads for giving did you get
this Christmas? I love Billy Graham, but the dude is worth millions, does he
need to ask me for money after telling me Merry Christmas? I get a devotion
from another, half of which are ads for his new book or a trip to Israel? And
has denied us when in need. Lord help us, help me, to not become bitter and two
faced. We all need Jesus, remember he is savior, and Lord. Why do we call him
Lord but don’t behave like him?
If your heart is as cold as a Colorado winter, maybe you need to be humbled
like we were. To have to trust God. Because we had no other resources. It was
our choice to move there, it was my choice to take the job dumping crappers in
sub-zero weather. But God honored us, and took care of us, while changing our
hearts. Jesus is the way, not tradition. Seek him today, and be one with him
in the spirit. As long as we are fulfilling an outward form we are full of
tradition. Recognize it, admit,and repent of it. Move on.
Funny we prepared for winter every fall, but we aren’t smart enough to
prepare for living a Christian life outside of the church. Take the gospel of
Jesus today in love, with compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. When they
know how much you car, you words will carry more weight. And remember God has
ears too, and is listening. We wanted to live in Durango and he honored
it.....
The cowboys have a saying, “never kick a fresh turd on a warm day.” I can
tell you never do it in the cold either. It hurts. That’s not being a
hypocrite, that’s experience. Let not your heart grow cold....and if your snow
tires need studs, get them. Increase your traction on icy roads. If only we
would approach Jesus that way.....funny how the weather doesn’t play favorites,
it snows on both the just and the unjust. Your job is being the witness the
world can see so they can tell the difference. No matter how high the snow
drifts, or how small the paycheck. When the weather turns cold, don’t
you.
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25bikr.blogspot.com