While pumping the most expensive gas in the US of A into my Tiger, being
careful not to spill it all over my tank, I looked up to see the SUV next to me
going into the $50 range. A quick glance had him looking at me suspiciously,
almost jealous of my fuel bill, but not wanting my mode of travel. Seems the
fact he could afford to fill his truckster made him proud, as if using more and
getting less MPG was an attribute. Like I was not as good...as I topped off and
left under ten dollars, him still pumping away. But it was the pumping of my
own gas that made me think more about the self serve than of the high price, of
a time when we could drive in and a pump jockey would check the gas and fill the
oil, wash the windshield, ask if we wanted stamps, and drive off under two
bucks. I recall how on our motorcycles they would hand us the pump, a sign of
respect, if not jealous admiration, and many times I felt bad for only using 80
cents, and having him return with the change. How gas used to smell so good,
and being a pump jockey was the job of preference for high school gear heads
long before self serve, and fast food became the first rite of teenage work. A
job we were proud to do, but a job also where sometimes we were looked down on,
as a big Cadillac owner would tell us to “don’t spill any gas, and hurry.”
Reminding us if we missed a bug or two on the windshield, and demanding his five
cents of change. Sometimes we felt looked down on, but truth be told, for some,
no matter the career we chose, or it chose us, it was the best time we ever had
working.
Late nights with no business we could use the lift to change our own oil,
rotate the tires, or for the faster guys, install glass packs or do suspension
work. It was a time where we learned from the fast guys, and even if at the
bottom of the pecking order, “keep the crappers clean kid,” and as you rose up
through it, you were part of the guys, sometimes getting hand me down parts,
with the added bonus of learning about life first hand rather than in sex ed. or
health. Dirty hands and dirty minds didn’t necessarily go together, but to the
nerdy, trendy crowd, as they looked down at you, you laughed a them. It may be
a low paying job, you may get your hands dirty, but the world was your customer,
and you somehow knew they couldn’t get by without you. Almost makes me miss
that clanging bell signaling their approach....
But the cool guys got to know the tow truck driver, and wished we could go
along, just to watch or be seen in the cool truck, going to the rescue of those
in distress. Digging that Caddy driver out of the muck, “hey aren’t you the kid
who pumps my gas?” and getting a show of approval and respect from him, if only
he would remember that on his next visit. But those days are gone, I wonder how
many kids dream of their first job flipping burgers, if the free meal per shift
was worth it, and wonder how it feel to go back. As we both stand there pumping
our own gas....at least there is no self service burgers yet.
At any new job we take, we want to show our boss just how good a choice he
made, and how good a job we will do. Over trying to a point until he reels us
in and back to reality. Paul went through the same thing when called by God to
minister. He wanted to tell the whole world about the Jesus he had found, but
encountered trouble, heartache, and humiliation instead. He may be employed by
the world’s richest Jew, but he was to learn humility by being humiliated, to
see a side of the king he didn’t know. After campaigning too much, the other
Jews set a trap to kill him, manning all the gates, laying in wait for him, but
instead he had to leave town in a basket over the wall. The ultimate
humiliation, escaping and hiding from his enemies. In the dark, a failure in
his own mind, cast off and rejected, humiliated and distressed, how alone he
must have felt. But never abandoned by Jesus. But yet later in 2 Corinthians
11 he relates this as his greatest triumph, how it drew him closer to Christ,
how he learned dependency and reliance on him, and not on his skills. He would
later write all I gained to be counted as loss as compared to the greatness of
Jesus Christ. All the things he felt were necessary God showed him were
useless, if not the spirit it was all loss, but in the spirit, he and we can
truly do all things in Christ who gives us strength. Too many Christians brag
about all the Christian books they read, the studies they do, claiming to know
Jesus, but really just knowing about him. Perpetual study but never meeting
face to face the one who can save and bless. With knowledge brings pride, until
a need to escape over the wall in the basket occurs. Some then run from it in
shame, while others run to him in repentance. While some are intent to study to
find themselves approved, the world’s smartest man tells us “study is wearisome
to the flesh,” Ecclesiastes 12:12. We may be so educated that we don’t see the
basket God has planned and waiting for us. But like for Paul, it may be the
defining event in our ministry.
God isn’t interested in our abilities, only our availability. Look at the
apostles resumes, but in Christ they changed the world. If we take our eyes off
of ourselves, and see us how Jesus does, we can then become the servant he calls
us to be. To wash windows, to be chastised for missing a few bugs, for spilling
a few drops of gas. To not be ashamed of flipping burgers, to feel good about
asking if you want it supersized. Or your oil checked. To remember that Jesus
told us he was meek and lowly, you may be the new pump jockey that is the only
Jesus someone sees today. Your attitude may be what the proud see. If your
prayer is like the rich man who thanked God in his prayer he was not like the
poor man, maybe the basket is ready and waiting. You may not see it, but God
does. Having been both humbled and humiliated, I can tell you I rather be
humbled. Humiliation can be humiliating, but it will bring the peace of Jesus
to you. You may be big in the eyes of the world, but small in the eyes of the
Lord. Paul learned a valuable lesson that night, when he gave over his pride in
humiliation. All who truly serve the Lord will be a basket case some day, and
to that I say “go ahead and fill’er up, and I’ll take the stamps.” Full service
from a full service God, all without asking. And he won’t spill any gas on your
tank. Jockeying the pumps of life, best left to Jesus. Your paycheck
awaits....maybe self service isn’t all it’s cracked up to be after all.
love with compassion,
Mike
mattehw25biker.blogspot.com