I don't like filling out forms, so when at the doctor recently, and confronted with the question on the form-MEDICAL HISTORY-I filled it in, reluctantly. Two knee operations, pneumonia, a hernia, that required reopening due to healing from the outside in, no one should have to know what silver nitrate is at age 7, leg perthes, rheumatoid arthritis, mumps, and German measles. All by the time I was 17. I figured the part that said details to be a joke, given the two small lines to answer. Medical history enough without the details for any three kids. And then in my senior year in high school, I had my tonsils removed.
Things were done differently a generation or two ago. They would take all the kids for tonsil removal on the same day, and do a wholesale cutting/removal. And most were removed from kids 6-8 years old. So here I was, in a room waiting with about ten third graders, when in comes the doctor. "Hi-I'm Dr. Doug!" and suddenly I knew how the patient on the Three Stooges felt when he saw Curly coming. With a saw. Nyuk, nyuk! And from his glance at me he was probably thinking "you're a little big for the third grade aren't you kid?" Aw, wise guy, eh? And I figured if things got rough, I was bigger and could always defend myself, but what about these little kids? As he explained the procedure in 6-8 year old terms, all you do is snip, the only part they understood was the ice cream to eat after part, what does minimal discomfort mean? So we had them out, as a group, and went home. Minimally discomforted.
Now I was feeling good, and like Bill Cosby's joke about tonsils and ice cream, I was ready for some strawberry. I was also thinking what a great doctor as I had no pain, so bring on the ice cream. And then it hit me. As the first bite of strawberry hit my throat, it was like a giant, strawberry flavored post nasal drip, and I went to clear my throat. And the pain was way beyond minimal discomfort. I wanted to kill Dr. Doug, and maybe me and the others could jump him in the hospital-if we ever got better. Show him some minimal discomfort. And every time I went to swallow, I was reminded of the pain. So bad, I couldn't swallow, which made eating difficult. But my mother, who may have had far more medical experience, read my history, suggested chewing Aspergum-a chiclet laced with pain killer. And it worked. And it worked so well I went right past the ice cream to a steak dinner. Again, her medical experience in conjunction with feeding me, allowed me to eat a steak dinner. Without chewing. She put it in a blender and I had powdered London Broil. Think of it as powdered/pulverized cow, and you get the picture. And as long as I stayed on the Aspergum, I could eat-ice cream included.
Dr. Doug had also said I would be weak for a couple days. And not to drive. Minimal discomfort. Which I did, and he was right. The first turn I came to while driving my parents Pinto, it was that green color that Ford used to paint every other car, ugly but hid the dirt well, with the all vinyl interior-seats, floor, dash, door panels, etc. to match, I almost didn't make. I had done it many times before with one hand on the wheel, and one on the selector of the 8-track-now it took both hands! And effort. I had to listen to songs until the end, even if I didn't want to, and he was right-I was weak! Now it took two people just to drive, a Pinto, just so I could have tunes! Two tonsils had eroded my accumulated driving skills of five months! I was damaged goods-ruined at 17! By tonsils, and Dr. Doug! What about those poor 6-8 year olds who weren't in as good shape as me? Did they even have a chance with a skateboard or bike? Rehab for tonsils? Would they ever recover to get a license?
But somehow by the end of the week I had recovered. A miracle. And we hadn't killed Dr. Doug. Two miracles. And were eating semi-regularly-note, all the grease on Big Macs acts as a great lubricant after a tonsillectomy. If more needed, add fries.
When Theresa and I travel, sometimes we are on the road for over three weeks. And we miss church. And church misses us. A minimal discomfort, that can turn into a major one. And we find getting back to a schedule of going is hard. We start to make excuses-"we'll go next week, but aren't we on the road again?" We get into a habit of atrophied spirituality. And like the weakened condition from tonsils, we are open to attacks and infection from the world. Yes, we are still in the Word, but without good teaching and fellowship, those skills can whither. And like I was told I would be weak after a simple tonsil operation, missing church weakens you. And soon your attitude changes, and you are open to attacks from everywhere. And it doesn't take much for some of us to deteriorate quickly. So we often attend church while on the road. Like the sign says "seven days without God makes one weak," it is true. I miss, and need to be around God's people. And as your relationship with Jesus grows, you want to be with Him and his people more.
And it always makes your pastor glad, sometimes suspiciously, to see you at Wednesday night services, and at Bible studies, and men's fellowships. But it also makes him wonder. "Are you ok Mike? Are you well, we see a lot of you here lately. Sickness?" And I just smile back and say "nah, had my tonsils out years ago, nothing can stop me now." Just like to hear the word. And like James 5 says, we consider blessed those who have persevered. Tonsils and other minimal discomforts of life. And major ones, too. As Paul calls them, momentary light afflictions. Wonder if he ever had his tonsils out?
How blessed are you today? Have you persevered or are you now in the midst of a trial? At home or on the road you are never alone. So check into your local church today, group surgery on an individual basis for your life every Sunday. And you can eat ice cream after. And the pain is gone-Jesus heals your maladies. He is the Aspergum for your soul.
Church-the checkups are free, the medical covered by God, and the food at the pot lucks is great. And there is nothing like being fed from the Word. No appointment necessary. And no waiting room or recovery period. Now there's a health care plan I can vote for. Support Jesus today-He supported you, paid in full. At prices you could never afford. His pain, your gain.
to your good health, love with compassion,
Mike
Things were done differently a generation or two ago. They would take all the kids for tonsil removal on the same day, and do a wholesale cutting/removal. And most were removed from kids 6-8 years old. So here I was, in a room waiting with about ten third graders, when in comes the doctor. "Hi-I'm Dr. Doug!" and suddenly I knew how the patient on the Three Stooges felt when he saw Curly coming. With a saw. Nyuk, nyuk! And from his glance at me he was probably thinking "you're a little big for the third grade aren't you kid?" Aw, wise guy, eh? And I figured if things got rough, I was bigger and could always defend myself, but what about these little kids? As he explained the procedure in 6-8 year old terms, all you do is snip, the only part they understood was the ice cream to eat after part, what does minimal discomfort mean? So we had them out, as a group, and went home. Minimally discomforted.
Now I was feeling good, and like Bill Cosby's joke about tonsils and ice cream, I was ready for some strawberry. I was also thinking what a great doctor as I had no pain, so bring on the ice cream. And then it hit me. As the first bite of strawberry hit my throat, it was like a giant, strawberry flavored post nasal drip, and I went to clear my throat. And the pain was way beyond minimal discomfort. I wanted to kill Dr. Doug, and maybe me and the others could jump him in the hospital-if we ever got better. Show him some minimal discomfort. And every time I went to swallow, I was reminded of the pain. So bad, I couldn't swallow, which made eating difficult. But my mother, who may have had far more medical experience, read my history, suggested chewing Aspergum-a chiclet laced with pain killer. And it worked. And it worked so well I went right past the ice cream to a steak dinner. Again, her medical experience in conjunction with feeding me, allowed me to eat a steak dinner. Without chewing. She put it in a blender and I had powdered London Broil. Think of it as powdered/pulverized cow, and you get the picture. And as long as I stayed on the Aspergum, I could eat-ice cream included.
Dr. Doug had also said I would be weak for a couple days. And not to drive. Minimal discomfort. Which I did, and he was right. The first turn I came to while driving my parents Pinto, it was that green color that Ford used to paint every other car, ugly but hid the dirt well, with the all vinyl interior-seats, floor, dash, door panels, etc. to match, I almost didn't make. I had done it many times before with one hand on the wheel, and one on the selector of the 8-track-now it took both hands! And effort. I had to listen to songs until the end, even if I didn't want to, and he was right-I was weak! Now it took two people just to drive, a Pinto, just so I could have tunes! Two tonsils had eroded my accumulated driving skills of five months! I was damaged goods-ruined at 17! By tonsils, and Dr. Doug! What about those poor 6-8 year olds who weren't in as good shape as me? Did they even have a chance with a skateboard or bike? Rehab for tonsils? Would they ever recover to get a license?
But somehow by the end of the week I had recovered. A miracle. And we hadn't killed Dr. Doug. Two miracles. And were eating semi-regularly-note, all the grease on Big Macs acts as a great lubricant after a tonsillectomy. If more needed, add fries.
When Theresa and I travel, sometimes we are on the road for over three weeks. And we miss church. And church misses us. A minimal discomfort, that can turn into a major one. And we find getting back to a schedule of going is hard. We start to make excuses-"we'll go next week, but aren't we on the road again?" We get into a habit of atrophied spirituality. And like the weakened condition from tonsils, we are open to attacks and infection from the world. Yes, we are still in the Word, but without good teaching and fellowship, those skills can whither. And like I was told I would be weak after a simple tonsil operation, missing church weakens you. And soon your attitude changes, and you are open to attacks from everywhere. And it doesn't take much for some of us to deteriorate quickly. So we often attend church while on the road. Like the sign says "seven days without God makes one weak," it is true. I miss, and need to be around God's people. And as your relationship with Jesus grows, you want to be with Him and his people more.
And it always makes your pastor glad, sometimes suspiciously, to see you at Wednesday night services, and at Bible studies, and men's fellowships. But it also makes him wonder. "Are you ok Mike? Are you well, we see a lot of you here lately. Sickness?" And I just smile back and say "nah, had my tonsils out years ago, nothing can stop me now." Just like to hear the word. And like James 5 says, we consider blessed those who have persevered. Tonsils and other minimal discomforts of life. And major ones, too. As Paul calls them, momentary light afflictions. Wonder if he ever had his tonsils out?
How blessed are you today? Have you persevered or are you now in the midst of a trial? At home or on the road you are never alone. So check into your local church today, group surgery on an individual basis for your life every Sunday. And you can eat ice cream after. And the pain is gone-Jesus heals your maladies. He is the Aspergum for your soul.
Church-the checkups are free, the medical covered by God, and the food at the pot lucks is great. And there is nothing like being fed from the Word. No appointment necessary. And no waiting room or recovery period. Now there's a health care plan I can vote for. Support Jesus today-He supported you, paid in full. At prices you could never afford. His pain, your gain.
to your good health, love with compassion,
Mike