Wednesday, November 20, 2019

I've spent most of my life at 18






















I was part of the first group of 18 year olds who were able to vote at that at age.  Man we felt like we knew it all, we had all the answers even though we hadn’t heard but the questions on our tests and quizzes.  And barely passed.  We had the right to vote, but no knowledge of who or what to vote for.  It was all about us, what could school, our parents, the government, and our girlfriends do for us.  We didn’t know at the time how good life really was, 25 cent gas, 15 cent hamburgers, and it was a golden age for motorcycles.  In my high school it wasn’t if you went to college, it was where, and that decal in your parents’ station wagon rear window spoke volumes.  We had everything ahead of us, bright and shiny futures ahead, we had it all except the wisdom to do the right things.  For some it would come quickly when drafted, some delayed for seven years in college, and some never got it, just the illusion.  We were young and we were old, being able to do just about anything we wanted, and if we failed, like in kickball, we could call “do over.”  Reality hadn’t fully set in yet, you could always move back in with your parents, and with my part time job at Sears, I felt like a rich man, even Alice Cooper got it it with his hit, “I’m eighteen and I like it, love it....”
I never imagined at 18 that by the time I was 21 I would have thrown a leg over my R90S and ridden to Albuquerque in November.  My 18 year old outlook still told me I could do anything, and that things were the same everywhere.  In a classic case of “if I had known” things probably would have turned out different, maybe better, or maybe worse.  I looked at life through my 18 year old eyes, but now was faced with adult decisions, rent, car payment, who to marry, do I marry, and suddenly, it was time to vote again.  In three and half years I had gone from kid to adult, and I was expected to perform like one, no more excuses about age, a time that should have been the best years of my life, suddenly I had to grow up.  A battle I faced for the next 44 years, and still face every morning.  Turning 64 I listened more attentively to the Beatles sing “When I’m 64,” and a time of bliss, but life went on with no respect of my age.  My 18 year outlook now in a 65 year old body, high miles and in need of maintenance, and wondering sometimes “will you need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64....” At 18 I had 60 years ahead, at 65 I may have 18 years ahead.  And I still am not quite sure how to behave in public yet.....
I had faced many health issues in my life from arthritis to an exploding aorta.  I have been hit and run and left for dead, crashed too many times, and today I feel it.  Not sure what it is yet, but I feel it.  At 18 I healed much faster, and had more energy to do it.  But my yearly checkups by various doctors tell me I’m in great shape, for an 80 year old, but in my mind I am still 18.  Just the other day a man approached me and asked me if the Street Triple R was mine.  My helmet had to be a dead give away, his answer “you’re not what I expected .”  He thought I would be much younger than I was, he was much younger than I thought he was.  I still get excited when I hear a big V8 roar by, when a hot bike hits the rev limiter, or when I flip the face shield up and reveal the old man in it, much to the surprise of the guy in the next lane.  I still feel like 18, want to perform like I’m 18, but at the end of the day I’m glad I’m not.  I wouldn’t want to be 18 again, for with what I now know I wouldn’t enjoy it as much. 
And I like to have fun.  So what is a person who has spent most of his life at 18 to do?
I am reminded of my Sunday School teacher Mrs. Campbell, who at 94 still taught with a vitality because she knew Jesus.  She would call me midweek and quiz me to make sure I was in the word, she seemed ageless.  When one day she told me she wanted me to meet her daughter, I figured everyone was about my age, turns out she was 72, I was 34.  But still 18.  She had not stopped living, but was still learning and growing in Christ, enjoying each day, knowing heaven was closer today than yesterday, but her Jesus kept her young at heart.  In Psalm 92 we read of two trees budding.blossoming, and growing in the Lord.  They were valued for their fruit and wood, offering a sense of vitality, prosperity, and usefulness.  Like they were rejoicing, just like we need to do when we are in Christ Jesus, loving, leading, sharing,and ministering to others in his love.  Years without an age, and suddenly I feel 18 again.  I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me, not too old to listen and learn, still old enough to ride and enjoy.  When my roots are deeply rooted in the spirit, I still see things as a  young man, but now have the experience in Jesus to back them up.  To see the wisdom in the godly advice I ignored, to still dream of next year’s ride, to be excited about my grandsons growing up, and growing older and closer to Theresa.  I don’t wish to be seen as an old man, but as a seasoned Christian who can share Jesus, whose advice carries weight because I know Jesus and can testify of him personally.  And with the days to rest so I can be ready for tomorrow...
Psalm 92 has the footnote “for the Sabbath,”  a day of rest to worship the Lord, look back on how he has brought us to this point, and to listen for next weeks lessons.  To rest in him.  For some a day, for me Jesus is my Sabbath, and I can rest in him everyday.  I don’t have to wait for Sunday, or battle with others who dispute which day, I can have the peace and calmness and be 18 in all things everyday, enjoying life abundantly, as promised.  Do you celebrate the day or the person?  The Jews considered long life a blessing from God, I consider all life a blessing from God.  Suddenly 18 seems so young....and I am not so old anymore.
No matter your age or stage of walk in Christ, it can only get better in him.  Sure the trials and tests will consume a good part of the days, but in those times we see a side of him we would miss otherwise.  If I was never sick I would never know how he is the great physician, if never in need how he is the great provider, and without a savior never know my sin and how it is forgiven.  So James is right when he tells us to rejoice in our trials, they only bring us closer to Jesus.  I can look back a life in Christ that celebrates his blessings, and still look ahead.  At 18 I could only look ahead....not knowing I would spend the rest of my life there. 
Experience Jesus today, enjoy the life he offers, and all the blessings he offers.  Avoid religion, seek him first.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you are too young or too old, and let every day be new and exciting in Jesus.  With only one question left to ponder, “do you like the Rolling Stones better from the 60’s or in their 60’s?”  Thank you Lord for letting me be there, and still here now.  Oh, and that satisfaction they can’t get none of, I found it years ago in Jesus.  With many more trips at redline ahead....before the rev limiter of life kicks in!  
Just because you are growing old doesn’t mean you have to grow up!  But with a dose of humility...I’m still old enough to know better, but still young enough to enjoy it!
love with compassion,
Mike
mattehw25biker.blogspot.com