Friday, March 12, 2010

look at all the money I saved by doing it myself

Can be easily assembled using hand tools. These seven words are words that have come to strike fear in me when I see them. And even more fear when I overstep my bounds and try to use them. That one line statement leading me into temptation, the idea that I could assemble anything has led to more heartbreak, personal injury, laughter on my audience's part, and personal embarrassment than should be legal. I'd like to think I have the following the instructions part down, it is just the fact that once a tool hits my hands, it goes from tool to weapon. And assaults anything that it comes in contact with.
I have shared how the one hour job of installing a garage door opener turned into an all day torture test, including the throwing of many tools, and cursing the makers of the garage door. I have turned a simple oil change into an ecological disaster by not putting the drain plug back in, and watching as the fresh oil coated the floor. And made it worse by trying to hose it off! So many of my sincere attempts have ended up in curiously placed stickers to cover up gouges and scratches-not put there by the factory.
And I would like this to serve as a warning to those who ask me to fix things-it is for your benefit that I decline the offer to injure myself-both emotionally and physically. Or inflict more damage than you started with. And it is sad, but somewhere between my brain wanting and knowing what to do, the hands don't get it. Or maybe they do and have a mind of their own.
Ten years ago we took a trip in our Mustang GT. A Christmas trip, that started by a tumbleweed invading our car-came right in between the roof and windshield. Then to make matters worse, I was hot lapping down the mountain-with my sons yelling encouragement, and my wife yelling at me. And I blew a rear tire. Not pretty watching me try to remove lug nuts over tightened by some monkey with an air wrench. But I wasn't done yet. When it got dark, the lights would turn on-but I couldn't turn them off. Stopping at a Burger King, when we went in to eat, we had to leave them on. And people in the restaurant starting commenting, not knowing we owned the car. With the time it took to eat a Whopper, we went from hunger-to anger-to embarrassment-and finally to laughter, as the whole thing really was funny. And when stopping at our destination for the night, simply removed the fuse, and the lights went out. Or actually, Andrew removed the fuse-I wanted to make sure the lights would work again. I actually dropped the fuse, and we had to look anyway for it the next morning.
Recently one of the press fleet bikes had a check engine light, and Mickey told me what is was over the phone. Then the fear set in-it's an easy fix-just remove the instruments, remove the seat, then remove the tank. Move wiring harness to access the wires to the o2 sensor, then reattach them. Right!
And I had taken it apart, when Andrew showed up, and fixed it in about two minutes. Later when I called Mickey back, he told me now you are an official mechanic. And when I jokingly asked him what to do with the extra nuts and bolts, he told me they saved them for the next bike. Just think of all the money the factory could save if I assisted in putting things back together.
I have learned over the years it is easier, and cheaper to let someone who knows what they are doing fix things for me, and pay them. And I have learned in the things of God to let Him handle them. I find nowhere in scripture where God asks for my help, or asks my opinion, or consults with me before making a decision. At that is a true blessing. So I caution you to not say "Mike says." Imagine God, faced with all the people who ever lived, making a way for each of us to get to heaven, that was individual, and custom made-just for us. Imagine the problems it would cause if your way was different than mine, easier, or mine was easier than yours. Not even the best advisors, religious and professional could keep up with that. If nothing else imagine the bookkeeping problem it would cause in heaven, even before computers. So God decided to make it simple, and call it the gospel-good news. And personal, intimate, and individual at the same time. The instructions are as follows. NO hand tools needed.
1-realize you are a sinner, and need a savior.
2-confess your sin to Jesus, and realize His deity. He is God incarnate.
3-give Him your heart-be born again He calls it, ask Him into your life.
4-trust Him with your life. Now, go live! Four easy steps, in any language, and I bet you could even use drawings if necessary. The beauty of God's love for us made simple, so that no skills, education, social standing, or religious training is needed. Just a heart that realizes you need Jesus. And watch as your life changes because now God is an active part of it.
If only someone could build a car or motorcycle like that. Where it was simple enough for all our needs, yet brought infinite joy. That never broke, and kept me from having to fix it. Unfortunately the only perfection is found in God, and nothing man made-that is why things come with a warranty. So God gives you a warranty too, a lifetime warranty. When you sin, He forgives you. And guarantees to take you to heaven. And fixes the problems you give Him when you follow His directions.
It is called John3:16. Read it, keep it handy, in case you or someone else needs it. And when you have something needing repairs, call the creator-a heavenly designer who know how it was built, and how to fix it. All parts always in stock, and His shop is open 24/7. Even on Christmas!
And watch as your "honey do" of problems turns into a "Jesus did" testimony. And He still does today. Believe in miracles-just look at my garage door! Still working-now that's a miracle!
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com