Thursday, November 3, 2011

the seasons of love, part 4-summer


This is pure supposition, and I really have nothing to back this up as I wasn't there, and don't know anyone else who was, but I believe it was summer when God created the earth. It only makes sense, everything was in bloom, the skies were bluest, it didn't rain, and they didn't need clothes. And since God is love, and made us in His image, and He is a summertime type of guy, I like to think it was summer, and that is why summer is always the most romantic of seasons. Long summer nights, warm summer days, and for those who happen to be young the prospect of meeting someone and falling in love. So I always entered summer with great expectations, somehow the girls from other schools, other towns, or someone's cousin made them more exciting, and more attractive. Add the thought that your romance may end when you go back to school, it makes each day, each date, and each time together special. Not a new concept, but one that goes way back.
It is 1945, July, and WWII is almost over. A generation of teens who have endured the Great Depression, WWII, and now are faced with their last summer of freedom-next summer will be graduation and jobs, maybe college. But for this summer, love will be in the air. July 13th, Friday, was the night that two teens met. Though living in different towns, somehow the three miles between them had kept them separated until that night. He was a senior, polite, well mannered, and dressed nice. She a cheerleader, and next year's head cheerleader. They met out at the park, at the concession stand. And after talking over Cokes, may have used any remaining nickels to ride the carousel,listening to the calliope. And maybe not that night, but on some nights would sneak off to the picnic area, and sit alone with other couples wanting to be alone together. They never knew it, but that night started a relationship that 66 years later still endures. 60 years of it in marriage. 57 years as parents, 31 years as grandparents.
When my parents married, my dad had joined the Air Force, he called my mom and they decided to get married-hurriedly. Not because they had to, but because they wanted to. My Pappy even commenting when my mother told him she was getting married asked, "why would you want to marry that jerk?" If only he knew. A simple wedding, with a cool reception. Was your mother cool enough to serve Oreos at hers? And that was all the details we had until last summer when visiting. My mother was telling the story of how after they married, she found his little black book, and blacked out all the names. Except for one, Mel. She couldn't understand why he would have one men's name among all the other women. When my father remarked, "Mel was a girl, short for Melanie," we all laughed until we cried. And as it turned out, Mel was the last girl he dated before he married!
When I counsel young people, or before I perform a wedding, I let them know about the commitment they are about to make. You may not always be in love, but honor the commitment. It is worthwhile. And in a society which either shuns marriage, we'll just live together to see if we get along, who has kids out of wedlock-remember when they used to be called bastards?-or either divorces because they can't get their own way, and don't get along, my parents and many others in their generation honored that commitment. A commitment that sets an example for their kids, and grandkids, and continues to as they take care of each other in their golden years. Sad, but when I visit divorced people, they lost more than a spouse-they lost a partner. They broke their vows, and now have lost part of themselves-a part no significant other, girl/boy friend, or live-in can ever appreciate. For those who have honored their commitments have the security that it brings, and includes God. Who by the way, hates divorce. Take a look around at the broken families-do you need more evidence? If you are divorced, look at the damage in your own life.
But God forgives, can you? He can rebuild, or renew. Would you let Him? Young and foolish is one thing, old and stupid, and lonely is no way to go. I have been them all at one time or another-lonely is a way I would never wish to go alone. I am honored by my parents that they have honored their commitments.
Which makes me wonder whatever happened to Mel? I only hope she found the right one for her. I'm glad she was just a name in a book. Just glad it wasn't my dad. I've gotten quite attached to him and my mother. 66 years is a long time to be friends, but I guess when you marry your best friend you have started off on the right foot. And that is why summer is my favorite season, and perhaps the best season of love. But anytime you can spend with your best friend is time well spent. They have over 264 seasons to show for it.
My son Christopher tells me "it is tough raising parents." He's right. So I think the best advice I can give to mine is I love you. Thanks for the memories, examples, commitment, and love. "Out park" never sounded so good.
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com