Theresa and I were talking the other night that we are so glad we don't have to date again. After 32 years of marriage, we have honored our commitment to each other, and it has honored us, and it has honored God. That doesn't mean it has been easy, but we honored that commitment, no matter the fight, and God has been gracious to us. We truly believe that God has made the two of us one, and I am thankful for the gift He has given me, just like He gave Eve to Adam. And it has made me a protector and respecter of her, as with the gift God tells me to love her like Jesus loves the church-a great equalizer for those men too foolish to realize that aren't her boss-but her co-equal! And although society seems to favor the man in many areas, the women have the final say many times.
Over 40 years ago, dating was different. Most young guys would hang out at the shop for awhile, bench racing until it was time for their haircut. A scheduled event, as when hair was shorter, you got it cut every other week, and had your favorite barber. The owner usually had the chair by the window, and for 75 cents you got a trim. And while waiting read through magazines forbidden at home like Esquire and For Men Only. You discussed things like if Kennedy was still president this Viet Nam thing wouldn't be out of control, new cars with bigger engines, and will anyone ever beat the Yankees. And how about Koufax and Drysdale? Could anyone imagine haircuts like the Beatles? Truly a male domain-without a female in sight-as it should be.
Women had their counter part-the salon. Where they would go to get beautiful, and discuss things like Liz Taylor, who just divorced her sixth, or was it seventh husband, and who would be her seventh, or was it eighth? Can you believe the new styles this year-wow! And how about those cute guys the Beatles-will my boyfriend ever get a haircut like that? OOOOOOOH! Truly a woman's domain, without men-as it should be.
And while the guys would polish their car, or their parents car if they were without, the girls went clothes shopping for their date that night. No one dated on Fridays-Saturday was the night. Especially if it was your steady.
But if not, you could tell a lot about the date by listening to the men talk. If she had one name, like Betty or Shirley, all the guys knew she was easy-and she never met your parents. A cheap date, in more ways than one. With more go than show, unlike your mom's sedan. But if she had two names, Like Suzy Smith, or Laura Jones, she had the possibility of being a steady, so you might invest in a burger after the movie. Just the opposite with the girls. You're going out with Greg Lane? Yuk-be careful. Much different from, so you're seeing Eddie again-he is so dreamy. Hang onto him!
And finally the big time came to pick up your date, in your clean and shiny car-hoping she would notice, but really shining it up for the guys. Girls just never noticed how much the hood shines in the dark, or how you had the radio buttons programmed to all the best stations. And your date would look all prim and proper-sweaters and skirts, the way it oughta be. Without the benefit of spandex, and not wondering if this skirt made her look fat, as clothes fit back then, and weren't worn two sizes too small. And as you held the door for her to get in, she was hoping you would notice, but really showing off for her friends. For most of us couldn't tell if it came from Kresges or Larkeys. And the smell of perfume making her so attractive-so notice! There will be a test later, well maybe just a quiz-open book!
And after a movie and a burger and Coke, you would go parking, finally getting the only benefit your mom's car had to offer over the Super Sport you desired-bench seats! Hopefully she wouldn't sit next to her door all night. And saving you a trip to the rear. And how could time could fly so fast when you were having so much fun? And not understanding how you had to have her home by midnight, you could get into just as much trouble before, and you had-sometimes. You were 16, a man, and it was truly a man's world, as you were in control, at least your date would let you think that-up to a point. You had picked the restaurant, the movie, and now the place to park. Based on her OK-of course. You were a gentlemen, hoping that she would be like a lady, until later. Relationships were made and kept based on these intimate moments. Some that would last through marriage, and beyond.
Your whole life is about relationships. With people, jobs, motorcycles, and hopefully God. Jesus tells us to seek His kingdom first, and all else will be added unto you. And you find this is true in all things, but really true in marriage. Just like Jesus is head of the church, men have head over their wives, not to control, but to encourage, and protect. True love demands a choice, and the wise husband chooses to love his wife this way. Even putting himself out, and putting up with her, as she does with him. Being strong when she is weak, and being there when she needs him. After God, she is his top priority, and he honors God by honoring her. And the closer to God he is, the more he loves his wife, and the more she responds. There will times she needs new clothes, or a trip to the beauty parlor. Greg Laurie says if the house needs paint, do it. Unlike my old friend Carl, who would drop his wife off at the beauty parlor for an estimate. The two have truly become one in Christ-and they will endure.
Things have changed in 45 years, but men and women still need each other. And still need Jesus. We may go to salons instead of barber shops, and I'm am so glad we don't have to park-I get tired after 930pm. But I am always glad to come home to the wife for life God has given me. I hope you do too. And you young guys and gals-seek Jesus now, and let Him guide you to that perfect mate. This can be the time of your life. Looks will fade, hair will fall out, and bucket seats will look better to you than a bench. But remember your first love-Jesus, and be the kind of husband your wife desires and she will be the wife of your dream. And you will have a peace that surpasses understanding.
Overheard a while ago, two women talking, about their long time husbands. When asked how she knew her husband still loved her and thought she was beautiful after all the years, she commented "whenever I bend over he never misses a chance to look down my shirt." May we all be so blessed, but look up first, seek God, and still desire our wives for years to come. And may they still find us as desirable. For God has said, "the two shall become one..." Still crazy after all these years-crazy about my wife.
love with compassion,
Mike
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