Winters can be brutal in the mountains of Colorado. Temperature well below
zero, snow measured in feet rather than inches, and you can create a situation
where many cannot get out, sometimes for days. And living in the country as we
did in these pre-cable, pre-VCR days, if the translator went out, you lost your
TV signal, and were bathed in an eerie isolation with no contact from the
outside. In the best of conditions we only had five channels, and on this one
night only one came through, the PBS channel from Albuquerque, where an old
movie was in progress. When it was over, and the pledge drives began, we found
out this movie that had mesmerized Theresa and I was “It’s a Wonderful Life,” a
movie now a Christmas tradition, at this time an unknown. A movie billed as an
angel earning his wings, it was about how one man, George Bailey, had influenced
others. Later God was to show me how it was also how others had influenced him,
but on this night, it was more than entertainment.
Last summer when I had open heart surgery, while in a coma, I spent some
precious time with Jesus. As close to death as you can come without dying, I
had this peace, and an experience that goes way beyond words. The only way I
can describe it is I want to go back. And for every day since then, Theresa
will confirm I have stated “I want to go back.” And I would question why a
loving God would show me of all people this wonderful experience, not
questioning why, but wondering why me of all people? Why this incredible
blessing? And then one day He explained it was grace He was showing to my
family. Grace to my wife as she was not a widow, and grace to my sons as they
were not orphans. And I was satisfied with that, way too much to totally take
in all at once, but a peace I wanted to share. His grace went beyond my
selfishness of wanting to be in heaven, and looking back today I am glad for His
plan. But if that was not enough, He showed me that I was here also to see my
sons realizing their dreams, and even better, them to see me see them realizing
them. Now I know why. And the blessings don’t ever seem to stop, as this week
has been very special.
Christopher flew home from Barcelona last night after six weeks of
touring. His dream come true, as he and Reagan are now now living their dream,
making music, and I couldn’t be prouder. I get to rejoice in their blessing,
and Christopher gets to see me rejoicing. To hear from his Dad, “well done my
son,” just like a loving heavenly Father told His son Jesus. Now I know why. I
cannot wait to hear the stories, as his future looks bright, and a father basks
in his son’s blessings. But also this week, we got meet Andrew’s girlfriend
from Canada, Michelle, and I got to see the joy of watching them plan a future
together. There is nothing like being in love, growing together while planning
the future, a blessing I would have missed, but for the grace of God. You see
we are saved by grace, a gift that cannot be purchased, but He kept me here for
grace, to be part of the gift. I am so proud of Andrew, and Michelle is a great
blessing, and I get to see it happen. And Andrew gets to see me see it! Well
done my son, from a loving father, who couldn’t be prouder of how far you have
come. And just as excited for your future with Michelle. Theresa may finally
get the daughter she has always desired, after raising all her boys. But it
won’t stop there, as God’s blessing continue, and in His mercy I get to see them
all...truly it is a wonderful life not only for me, but better yet for my
family. Now I know why.
And even though I still desire to go back, I know it will be in God’s time,
as I am part of blessings I never would have imagined. That’s grace, that’s
Jesus. Ironically in the 30+ years since first seeing It’s a Wonderful Life, I
have only watched it once in its entirety. We found it in the library in
Durango on the big reels, and watched it one night at church. And even though
it is on every year, I even think we have it on DVD somewhere, I never sit to
watch it. For as wonderful as George’s life is in the film, my life is even
more wonderful in Jesus. And my life is not about me, but about Him. You see,
why asks with you wanting favor, but when you realize who the who is, then you
can say “now I know why.” For without the who of Jesus, your life is a mystery,
with so many unanswered questions. It is like being snowed in with no contact
with the outside, lonely and alone. So let Jesus add life to your life, let
your life be about who rather than why. For when you are comfortable with the
who, Jesus, you will know why. It is called love, the person of Jesus, far
better than just the emotion. I am the only person to have what I had, I am
medical history. I wondered why I was chosen by God for this, now I know why.
Heaven awaits, but until then, I have right now-and more blessings than any man
could ever ask for. And my family is here to see it with me. An incredible
influence on me. Now I know why.
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com