Tuesday, September 17, 2019

cars I still cannot afford














Throughout my life it seems my income has always fallen behind the car of my dreams.  Not necessarily a dream car, but one that is mine, can be driven past the city limits without fear of not returning on its own, and that all four tires are the same size.  As is the body color, and all interior items should be there, hopefully as they came from the assembly line.  But truthfully I never owned one that bad, well maybe a few, but it seems the car that I really wanted, or had to have, the one that kept me up figuring how many years of lawns I had to cut to get one, still is too expensive for me.  But I can still dream, if not drive...
I was told at an early age you either have time or money, but rarely the two at the same time.  It seems that whenever I see a car I want and the deal seems too good to be true, I cannot honor my end of the buying process, yet when I have a wallet full of cash, after selling a bike or two, those deals don’t exist, or just avoid me.  Or I find I rather have the cash than the car, so it gets used on less honorable things like painting the house, fixing the plumbing, or supersizing a dinner for two, with money left over for the cone.  But some deals that came and went still haunt me, “if only, how would that vehicle have changed my life?  How long would I have kept it?  And where would it be now?”
Every time I see a B Model Mack dump truck, I grimace about how a guy knew was selling his almost perfect one.  $500 in 1978 dollars. I barely made that a month.  It had a two speed rear end, and I can see myself bumping along with my next load of dirt to the job site.  But maybe not, I never could get that beautiful truck dirty...so maybe it was a better deal to pass on it.  A few years back I was interested in a Corvette, red with red interior, that Chevy called Lipstick.  Ooohhh...but looking I found a few in my price range, but not quite in the condition as advertised.  Seems C3 Corvettes of the later years used too many off the shelf Chevy items, and the L82 with only 225 hp was the same as the old Crown Vic I used for my rain car.  I wanted a car to drive, too many are used for weekends only, or I have one and you don’t expressions to the unwashed multitude.  So again I passed....and glad I did.  Finally a BMW 2002, the model not the year, was seen for sale.  Having had one, I knew what to look for, and as cheap as it was, it was still overpriced.  These suckers rusted, many places you couldn’t see, add in German rubber for window seals that rots while you roll one up, another great deal ended in a no sale.  Yet I cruise Craigslist for that elusive car that I can afford that I am sure doesn’t exist.  If only in my dreams......please don’t wake up this sleepwalker, it could be dangerous.
No one wakes up one morning and decides today is the day I find God.  For one thing he isn’t missing, and two, even though we have an innate desire for God, without the urging of the holy spirit, we seek substitutes, or false gods, many times without knowing it.  I dated a girl once whose religion of the month was some Far East nonsense, even weird by her standards, and after a few dates, she was still looking and I started looking for another girl to date.  Any girl who asked “what’s your sign?” was an instant turnoff, although some were worth a second look, but still searching and not finding.  There were the various good girls who went to church, but their morals didn’t include mine, and were too busy trying to change me.   Pass again.....until one night, after reading “Late, Great Planet Earth” by Hal Lindsay, I was invited to a Bible study.  With the intention of picking up a girl, what was I thinking?  As I continued to make eye contact with the very pretty girl in the group, I told the friend I came with I was going out with her afterwards.  Which only made her more forbidden fruit when he told me “she is a Christian girl and won’t date a non-Christian.”  But with my best Jersey foot forward, I walked across the room to her and we met.  I reached out my hand to introduce myself, she embraced me, “isn’t Jesus wonderful?”  What could I say, what could I do?  She was right, so was John, we never went out, but a few days later I was one, and only my leaving back to Jersey cancelled any further plans of her.  But not of Jesus....
You see God has a woman for you and a man for you, woman, if you seek him first.  I don’t get this Christian dating, or on line dating, who hasn’t lied on their Facebook page?  Yet we look for God like we shop for deals on cars and dates.  We have a preset list of how God should be, and then Jesus shows up, and changes everything.  Scripture tells us that God will give us the desires of our heart, is he the desire of your heart?  The spirit is constantly telling you how you need Jesus, but lesser offers distract us, ones that don’t include us changing.  So it must be up to God to change, and that never works.  We are that work in process for the better, how many decisions can I look back and say “I’m glad it didn’t work out,” because he had something better for me.  So the best deal you will ever make is Jesus Christ, he gets you and all your sin and wretchedness, you get forgiveness and grace.  On a religious scale it seems God gets shorted, but such is his love for us.  Anything else, any religion, cult, or philosophy is too expensive, and I cannot afford it.  Nor can you. 
Today can you say “Isn’t Jesus wonderful?”  Despite your situation, despite what is going on, can you honestly say “it would only be worse without him?”  Is your God like the cars of your dreams, always a day late and a dollar short?  Or is he adequate in all things, what you need?  Even when you don’t know what you need?  Temptations come in many shapes, sizes, horsepower, and prices.  God never tempts, but offers.  His offer is Jesus, and heaven.  A proven fact.  Anything else is just a lie.  So as there will always be cars I still cannot afford, I still cannot afford to be without Jesus.  Only Jesus saves, and at today’s prices that is still a miracle.  His arms are open to accept you, not your cash.  To love you as you are, but wanting to make you into what you can be.  He is the only deal in life you should never pass on.....not in any for sale column, but found advertising his love everyday for us to see.  And after all the excuses are made, he still loves you.
But if you do happen to see a B Model Mack dump truck, I am still looking.  A great work truck, I could actually haul things in it.  Not in my truck you’re not.  But in your dreams, do you see jeopardizing it once you get it?  Not in my B Model....now do you get it?  We may abandon our dreams, he never abandons us.
And suddenly Jesus makes all the sense in the world......
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com