Before Craigslist, before the Internet, and even before Auto Trader people
bought and sold things. Without the advantage of a photo, or even as many words
as you wanted to describe your item, you had to be brief, use abbreviations, and
hope your words meant exactly what you wanted to say. The local paper sold
classified ads by the words, or by the inch. So a clever car ad, might read
like this, “1965 American, lo miles, r&h, w/w tires, $1200OBO.
xxx-xxx-xxxx.” 8 words at $1/word= $8 for your ad. Which usually would run for
3 consecutive days, and a bonus on Saturday if it hadn’t sold. Broken down it
says “195 Rambler American, radio and heater, white wall tires, $1200 or best
offer. And the phone number to call.” This is how we used to sell our old
cars, or look for our next cheerful cheapie. We became adept at the
descriptions, and learned to picture our desired car by the words. We learned
that all original meant it needed paint and upholstery work, elderly owned meant
many dents and scratches from near misses that weren’t, only driven on Sundays
meant 1/4 mile at a time at the drags, on Sunday, and must sell meant please
take this beater off my hands. But in our young minds it was the perfect car,
underpriced just so we could afford it, but our fathers already knew from the
description stay away. Either they had bought such a car once, or sold one
after buying said car, and ere passing down a lifetime of knowledge down to us.
As we got older we found reading car ads was an acquired skill, and soon could
navigate through the ads, but still always the first question after calling, and
asking “do you have the car for sale?” was “tell me something about it.” Hoping
the prose of the ad would come to life even more when verbally experienced. But
we also learned by the tone of voice, if male of female, or if “let me get my
dad,” what we were up against. No one wanted to talk to someone else’s dad, and
sometimes we just quickly hung up, rather than mumble something into the phone,
giving away our age, immaturity, and our financial status. A mental picture
printed in our young minds, by just a few carefully chosen words found in the
classified.
Now classified ads were nothing new, and some of the best are found in old
issues of Popular Science and Mechanix Illustrated. Pages would be filled with
opportunities for inventors, to buy WWII surplus Jeeps and tanks, to learn to
sharpen saws, learn to be a PI, and more. You could learn where to buy a
motorcycle wholesale, how to get better gas mileage on your Hudson, and get a
free sample of nylon seat covers, all for the price of a 3 cent stamp back after
the war. Priceless ads that tell us really what the world was like back then,
and when travelling I stop in antique stores and buy a few. Easy and
entertaining reading, and cheaper than the latest editions, with better stories
to let your imagination run wild. But my favorite ad, one that had achieved
urban legend status even before I was born was short and sweet, and supposedly
made a huge amount of money for whoever placed the ad. I never saw one, but
here is ne version of it.
“LAST CHANCE TO SEND IN YOUR DOLLAR! DON’T WAIT...TIME IS RUNNING OUT.”
Then it gives a PO box in some big city far away. And the legend goes on as how
thousands of people send this PO box a dollar, never knowing why, but because
time is running out. And the guy who ran the ad sits back and gets rich. No
crime has been committed, not against the law to receive money in the mail, no
product or service has been promised, and for some unknown reason people
respond. Not a lottery, today someone actually wins the money invested in a
ticket, this is no lottery, the only winner the guy who placed the ad. With the
rest of us wondering is it true, did it work, and should we try it. Urban
legends, based on truth, no lie involved here, just the story of did it really
ever happen? Too good to not believe, what do you think? Would you invest a
dollar to find out? Have you or are you retired on an income of dollar bills?
Hmmmm....
But by far the worst offenders are the ones who request money of you using
God as the reason. “Our ministry will fail if you don’t give.” “We cannot go
to China if you don’t support us,” and so many do, never knowing who is on the
other end. And on the radio at one time, the begging was so successful that
radio stations would charge more for evangelists, knowing they would draw more
money from the faithful. Offering prayer cloths, holy water, or other religious
icons as a reward. And they still do today. I get hit up almost every day with
someone wanting money in the name of God. For my ministry, to feed the poor, or
so I can afford my jet. Some even use the tone of time is running out, or we’ll
go off the air, only to get a reprieve the next night. Things not seen in the
Bible, but yet warned against. Jesus sent out his disciples with just what they
had in their pockets, no book sales, no special offerings, or hitting on the
elect. He took offense to begging for money for God, yet it is still a popular,
yet sinful practice. If nothing else, use common sense, why ask those who are
poor like you, when you can ask God who has all the riches? And if you truly
are sent by God, if he has given you a vision, where he guides, he provides.
All others are scammers, woe to them. Woe is not a good thing when it comes
from the mouth of God.
When God put on my heart years ago to go into ministry, I sought counsel
from those in it. The best advice was never share your vision with the church
or they will change it, and try to take it away. True words. The other was
send out letters of support, big NO to me, so I prayed and asked God. I took
communion with crackers and OJ and asked God what he wanted me to do. And as he
showed me, he spoke precious words to me. He will provide manna in my garage,
for my mortgage, and in my refrigerator. Don’t ask for anything, for if you ask
it is not a gift, and he likes to give good gifts. And I haven’t and he has,
and all my needs have been met. Amazing, but not really.Beggingin the church,
the world has truly invaded here, and the church has welcomed it. The love of
money, and the illusion of what it will do, I have reality and Jesus. Who works
all things out, I don’t have to, and spend more time ministering in his name
than begging for money. And even when it seems time is running out, he is still
faithful. And today we do more with less than we did when we had more.
So if I was to run an ad, it would say “turn to God today. Time is running
out, give him your heart, gain eternal life.” No Bingo, begging, envelopes,
book sales, special offerings, or guest speakers. I would tell about Jesus
rather than try to sell in his name. No holy water, prayer cloths, or palm
branches-just Jesus. Who paid the price no one else could afford. And even if
it was just for you, it was paid. In advance, the ticket to heaven is at the
call window, will you answer the call? Will you give it all to Jesus, and lose
all your sin? Or continue to engage in sin, losing it all? Found in the
scriptures are many ads for him, all true, how will you respond? Give your
life to a church, an organization, or an evangelist begging, or ask God where to
give? And how to receive? God never fails on his promises of taking care of
us, his sheep. Why pay for something priceless when you can have salvation for
free? God made the gospel simple so we can understand it, free so we can afford
it. So why do we fall prey to those who seek our money, and our souls, when if
we pray and seek God, we can know for sure.
Jesus is no urban legend, and neither are those begging in his name. Only
they use it in vain, to profit themselves, not you. Jesus asks simply “what
does it profit a man if he gains the world and loses his soul?” God has no
problem with the rich, but he does with the proud. And those who prey on his
people. Learn it from the want ads, don’t use your imagination of what or who
God is, get to know Jesus personally. And as you know him better, you trust him
more. And the ads, requests, and begging are seen for what they really are.
Jesus never asked for a collection, giving is supposed to be from the heart.
Not from the wallet. Give hilariously, as God shows you, and be blessed. His
grace surrounding you. Some have too much to give, and find they are poorer
than the widow with two mites. She gave it all, because Jesus gave it all. No
one asked, and all her needs were met. In Christ Jesus. The money takers will
always be there, but so will Jesus. Listen to what the spirit says, let him
take care of you, and trust. Confirm what the spirit tells you in the Bible,
and never say “I saw it in the want ads.” Don’t wait...time is running out.”
And it won’t cost you a cent. Or dollar. And of course we all remember Soupy
Sales famous “send me the green papers in your dad’s wallets,” joke. Do you? Do
we? How many did, but will never admit it. Hmmm.....
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com