Wednesday, June 26, 2013

what if she says yes?






I am a horrible dancer, I mean a really horrible dancer. and I have been for my entire life, with no desire to ever change.  While the other kids in my elementary school were taking lessons, I was playing kickball and flies up.  And while they were learning social graces, I was learning batting averages, which was OK until I hit Jr. High, and was faced with my first dance.  Now a friend had told me he knew a girl, who knew a girl, who said she liked me, which still gave me the cooties, but at 14 girls started having shapes, and the social pressure of interacting was inescapable.  So with the first 8th grade dance after school coming up, I went, fulfilling every 8th grade boys obligation of standing on one side of the gym, while the girls stood on the other.  Cleverly making fun of the few who actually got out and danced.  And as the afternoon slowly passed, it was evident she was expecting me to ask her to dance, and a few friends had even pushed me out onto the floor.  So finally getting up enough courage, I started across the floor, carefully rehearsing my lines, and making excuses for when she said no.  But half way there, I got really scared, what if she said yes?  The whole 8th grade at Terrilll Jr. High was watching, and old 12 feet here can’t dance, what was I to do?  I couldn’t turn away, that took more courage, and I couldn’t look back, our eyes had met, and she knew I was going to ask, maybe she was as scared as I was, no girls mature faster than boys, and I was real immature, how was I going to look cool now?  Fortunately by the time I got to her, the song had started, a slow dance, one break for me, and when I said something clever like “wanna dance,” she was equally as clever and said “yes.”  Now at 14 all boys are hands and glands, and I was to slow dance, so I started swaying to the music, hey this isn’t so bad, and I may have blacked out, as I don’t remember the rest, but it must have been Ok, as we soon after became boy and girl friend, must have been my other charms, as it sure wasn’t my dancing.  But I had overcome the fear of asking, and the fear of being told yes...and I wonder if she thinks all 14 year old boys sweat and stutter so much?
I don’t ride with very many people any more, and don’t do group rides, I call them crowd control.  so if you ask to ride with me, don’t be ashamed if I ask some questions about how you ride, I prefer to ride alone, so ask few myself.  But every once in a while I ride with others, asking if I can tag along, hoping the bike I am on is better than I am.  And sometimes I wish I hadn’t when they say yes, now I am committed, and have to go, and that old 8th grade dance fear comes over me, now everyone will be looking at me, what if I miss a corner, take a bad line, or don’t ride as fast as the group?  What if they make fun of this old guy?  And my list goes on, until I realize they may be thinking the same, so I just ride my own ride, and hope they do to.  I have nothing to prove, I ride for fun, don’t you?  So why do I get so upset?  Would I rather have my ego bruised by being told no, or being told yes?  Life is full of difficult tests, riding shouldn’t, should it?
And so it goes in ministry, we make excuses for not obeying God.  Thinking it is all about our charisma that shows the grace of God, not realizing that it is only the Holy Spirit that changes life, we are just the messenger.  And so we share Jesus with a friend, who begins to ask questions, and we find out how unprepared we really are, and get buried in mumbles for answers, wishing to do well, but falling on back on what we know, or don’t know, instead who we do know, Jesus.  We begin to look for  any escape route, when maybe God is trying to show us something also, if we are listening.  And sometimes our zealousness will get us in trouble, but knowing Jesus never leaves us, we can fall back on Him for that escape route, the way out, and the way to show Him.  So I have found that when He gets the glory, I get the blessings, so I lay it all at His feet, listening and knowing He will provide the right words, and even falling so low as to listen first, then respond.  Isaiah 65:24 tells us that God knows what to do before we ask, and is already working on the plan, are we listening?  Or are we witnessing when we should be a witness?  Who am  representing, myself or Jesus?  The truth can hurt when it really has come to set us free, so let it!  But what if while sharing they want to know Jesus?  What if they say yes?  No what?  What have I done now?  What have I gotten into?  Exactly the thing God wants you to do, to make disciples, to stand with that person, mentor or teach them, to help them grow in God.  God has answered your prayer, why aren’t you rejoicing?
Maybe your agenda was your own, not Jesus’.  But despite us, God still saves people, still disciples them, and still blesses, even us.  So turn to Him today, repent, change your direction to follow Him, not lead Him, and watch as the blessings grow, as those around you begin to see more Jesus in you, because He works from the inside out, not the outside in, He looks on the heart, and loves us anyway.  And if you haven’t said yes to Jesus yet, now is a great time.  We can pray...and let God do what God loves to do.  If only dancing were so easy?
Let me leave you with a thought, about sharing this with others.  It is so easy to share with a friend, seeking a blessing, please this is not a chain letter promising blessings if you pass it on to 10 friends.  Consider it an encouragement to share Jesus, and pass it along to someone not a friend, that is what Christ would do.  Somewhere across the dance floor someone is just waiting to be asked.  Or someone just looking for someone to ride with.  If I can dance, you can surely share Christ? Hopefully it will be a slow song...or a beginning of a long ride.  You will never know until you ask.
love with compassion,
Mikematthew25biker.blogspot.com