Wednesday, October 11, 2017

a strange land called Freedom

While working at The Pantry a few years back, where we allowed the homeless and needy a chance to come in and shop for clothes for free, an older man, older than the years he had, approached me. Telling me it was his first time in, he asked how it worked, and I explained it simply, pick out to one outfit, see me if you need more, and see me on the way out.  Go through the clothes, shoes, and toiletries and get what you need. It is all free and sanitized.   Which was met with a blank expression, and he humbly, rather humiliated, told me he had just been released from prison after 35 years.  Since he was 18 all he knew was jail, and was a bit scared.  So I offered him a seat and we talked.  He went on to tell me it was scary on the outside, and after 35 years the San Diego he knew as a teen had changed.  He had never had his own place, never had a checking account, never filled out an application, and all his needs had been met by the CDCC.   He didn’t know how to shop for clothes, he knew little about money, or how to buy things, he had $200 from the system, which sounded like a lot until he got out and saw how expensive things were.  He was scared, lonely, a stranger in a strange land called Freedom, and wasn’t sure if he could cope.   When I asked him “how could I help, what do you need?” his answer was short, and honest.  “I don’t know.”  There have been few times when I felt so helpless, and maybe hopeless.  I knew people who got things done, I was one, but nothing prepared me or him for his situation.  After helping him, I gave him some info on who to see at the San Diego Rescue Mission, but he was clean and probably wouldn’t be admitted, I hoped they knew of a place for ex-cons to get help.  I didn’t, and all the scripture well meaning Christians offered me later would not have helped.  He was scared, lonely, and without a friend.  For a brief moment in time I was his protector, and his friend. I never saw him again, and talking with some others who had been in similiar situations told me “he’ll go back in, it is his home.  It is where he feels safe.”  That may have been the solution for him, it left me feeling empty and hopeless.  Prison as home the answer?
But when explained it made sense, sorta.  He had food, sorta, a place to sleep, health care, clothes, and friends.  Sounds like a good deal on paper, but real life tells me different, as my friends behind jail will back me up on.  Here was a man who when offered freedom after 35 years felt imprisoned, and couldn’t handle nor accept his new freedom. I kept thinking “that’s not how it is supposed to be,” but that’s is how it is.  Fortunately my thoughts kept going back to grace, and mercy.  How the law points out our sin, but has no forgiveness in it.  When Moses was given the 10 Commandments, he was given a set of rules to live by, but that offered no salvation.  It takes grace, only found in Jesus Christ to be saved.  True, this man had broken the law and paid for it, but it offered no mercy, no grace, and left him without hope.  In a world that has none to offer...
Again last night I was faced with the harshness of life, when a young mother with child saw me and remembered me from Bible Study.  She wondered if she could attend, she was homeless, her legs bruised purple, her 3 year old sleeping on what had been a shopping cart, and dirty.  Finishing a hot dog, probably found in the trash.  When I told her sure, she told me she may not be welcomed, she had stayed at Dustin Arms before with a family they had trouble with, her included.  I assured her we would get it worked out, and soon saw Nick helping her up the stairs.  Nick has a heart for people like her, mostly for kids, and when I left, he had found a place for her for the night there.  He took care of one night, now it was her tomorrows we had to deal with, rather she has to deal with.  There are woman’s shelters for her and kids, I hope she follows through.  But for one night, she was given rest and a safe place.  Something to remember when I put out prayer requests for items, we are more fortunate and blessed than most.  Something that Jesus said about doing for the least of them was doing unto him......
Talking with another man, a Messianic Jew, he is saved, he was upset that he had worked, serving and feeding the homeless on Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, which should have been a day of rest.  Yet he came home worn out and tired, feeling blessed, then remembered what day it was, and felt remorse.  He wanted to honor his God, but felt he hadn’t because he didn’t keep the law.  My words to him were “you’re not under the law any more, you are under grace.”  And he perked up.  If only we could live like we truly were under grace, how we could love and forgive, help those in need, and not have to be responsible to anyone but God, how when guided by his spirit we see a side of him that the law cannot supply, nor can the world.  We all need a little more grace, some a lot more, but do we show it when we are given the chance?  While so many young kids go around with WWJD bracelets being trendy, do they have to ask what Jesus would do?  Should we have to ask?  If he has truly written his word on our hearts as he says, it should become a part of you.  Not a lesson to memorize, but a life to live in freedom.  We can only get mercy after we screw up, and only find grace in Jesus Christ.  Where the spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.  An action word, but for some only a philosophy, or a religious teaching.  Jesus offers us freedom, grace which cannot be earned.  Do you think maybe we can pass it on just a little?  He asked his disciples “could you not tarry one more hour?”  As you rush off to church or Bible study......
Today we all will face someone who needs a bit more of Jesus in their life.  You may be the one called to be that messenger, to stop and listen, to offer love and guidance.  To be the scriptures, to represent Jesus and not religion.  To sow seeds of love. Or you could be the one in need, which puts it all in a much different perspective.  Tonight when you pray “now I lay me down to sleep,”  be thankful for the bed you are on, the sheets pulled up and the comfortable pillow.  Freedom isn’t free and it comes with responsibility.  Jesus died for it so we can have it.  To love your brother as you love God.  How you love others will tell us a lot about how you love God, and who Jesus is in your life.  I rather be humbled than humiliated.  Grace changes everything, has it changed you?  Don’t be the last one to find out.....
love with compassion,
Mike
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