Tuesday, February 28, 2017

whaddya mean your wife don't ride?


















Early Tuesday afternoon found us pulling into Oklahoma City at the bombing site.  A very somber and sobering place, our Torches Across America ride took us there again, and the media coverage was there to meet us.  I was being interviewed by a local news station, and when she was done, asked “can I speak to you and your wife?”  And so we met up, and she was excited about us riding, but also about Theresa riding with me.  She was a newly wed and her husband rode, and before marriage got counseling.  Where the counselor encouraged them to ride together, as it would make their marriage stronger.  “Do you?”  I asked, and she broke out into a huge smile, “yes, wonderfully so, and she was right, we are having the best time riding together, and it keeps us close.”  Any bets you never see their motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrist’s office?  We need more marriage counselors like that!  And I can vouch for testimony, as from the first night Theresa and I met, from all the trips we have taken, and the ones planned, down to the weekend rides and rides just for lunch or to the beach, riding keeps us strong.  An unspoken element of the marriage vow, “to ride in good times and bad,” I wish it would be part of any bikers vows.  I offer our over 300,000 miles ridden together, and her 50,000+ on her own Bonneville with me as evidence, 39 years strong. So whaddya mean, your wife don’t ride?
Many times when riding, men will talk with her, and ask “can you talk to my wife about riding?”  The answer is always no, you talk to her.  Tell her the good times she is missing, and maybe a short ride is in order.  Think of why she doesn’t ride, would you sit on that fender cover you call a seat?  Maybe she isn’t interested in wheelies, or riding with a group of men.  Do you date alone or in a crowd?  Maybe helmet head deters her, until she meets up with a group of women who have it, and wear it as a badge of honor.  Perhaps you scared her once, and she never wanted to be scared again, do you ride your own ride, can you adapt it for her?  Start with short rides, let her pick out some riding clothes, attend a toy run or biker event, let her get introduced to riding as you were, assure her you are with her and not your buddies, we always hear the horror stories and the rumors, let her find out if riding together is for her, and you.  Maybe have her talk to other wives who ride, who are still feminine and ladylike, underneath all that leather beats the heart of a woman, remember?  It could come down to a simple thing, she doesn’t trust your riding.  Have you given her a reason to ride with you? 
How many woman have you ever scared off on your first date by thinking fear impressed them?  When really the wind in their face for the first time felt like 100, it always feels faster from the passenger seat.  Have you tried including them in your travel plans, many side roads mentioned by Theresa have turned into great finds.  Stop and drink a Coke, smell the flowers, take some pictures to show her friends, and when they cannot believe she is riding, inside she will see they are jealous, maybe even wishing their boyfriend or husband rode, or cared enough about them to ask them along.  Did you stop asking after the first no, do you even want them along?  With 10% of bike sales going to women, they play a big part in riding today, what are you missing by thinking only about your ride and not “our ride?”  For there is a romantic side to riding that cannot be explained in words.  It must be experienced.  You both don’t know what you are missing, whaddya mean your wife don’t ride? 
We read in Ecclesiastes the words of the wise, scripture, are like a goad, encouraging us to go where we might not otherwise go.  To paraphrase Captain Kirk, “to go boldly where no man has ever gone before,”  may be wisdom.  The words of the Bible can prod you along, through rejection and depression, through tough times and into good times, and give you a sense you are not alone.  It may be as simple as in the Lord’s Prayer, “not my will, but yours,”  asking but not receiving, talking but not listening.  It talks of scripture as a firmly embedded nail, when Jesus plants a scripture in your heart and you cannot let it go.  “These things too will pass,” and “let not your hearts be troubled,” two promises we are involved in.  Our choice to be happy or sad in the situation, for it too will pass.  Sometimes it involves letting go of old ways, and trying it God’s way.  When Jesus said “believe in God, then believe in me,” find comfort in it.  Knowing that scripture is that firmly embedded nail, like the ones that nailed him to the cross, his will was done that day, so that we may be saved.  Jesus hung in there in the tough times, and hangs with you in them too, do your actions tell others you know better, and pain and suffering are the better way?  Or have you tried it God’s way via his spirit? 
But we are also warned, that anything added to the words of he wise, scripture are damaging.  Maybe based on God’s wisdom, but not scriptural.  My words may mean something, but only when they are applied to God’s word by his spirit, they should cause you to seek Jesus himself, not as any new way to live.  The Bible needs no second versions, no rewrites, or religious dogma added.  It warns “of many books there is no end,” It is alright to reach out and search, but seek him first, then all other things will be added unto you.  Until we know that Jesus is the reason for our existence, all other books will only confuse us and lead us astray.  How many study books about the Bible, but not the Bible?  How many pastors advertise their book on their website?  Where is the ad for the Bible?  Where is the phone number, the email address to ask about what you have read?  God is available 24/7, he never sleeps, he never slumbers.  And when we read guided by his spirit, he gives insight, wisdom, and comfort to us in our times of need.  No other book can do that, none.  Whaddya mean you don’t trust your Bible?  These things shall follow them that believe, what do you see in your mirror?  Does looking back inspire you to look ahead?
Imagine if Adam and Eve rode, no chance for the devil to talk to her over the sound of a tuned exhaust.  Her husband would be right there with her, two can cover each other’s back, another reason Jesus sent the disciples out by twos.  So maybe riding together isn’t scriptural, but beneficial to a strong marriage.  And God wants your marriage relationship, as well as the relationship with him to be healthy.  To exercise it daily, to grow in him and with him.  Like any good marriage will when he is in it.  If your wife won’t ride with you, ask her why.  Then try to make her comfortable, the spirit is the great comforter, is your seat standing in the way of a great marriage?  Would you allow Jesus to sit on it?  Your riding, may be standing between you and your wife, or it may be the glue that cements it.  Whaddya mean your wife don’t ride?  You may be the problem...and the solution.
By the way, all the women I have ever ridden with who took a class to learn how to ride, had the riding mechanics down better than most men.  They know how to ride, to use their front brakes, to take good lines in corners.  Maybe you are afraid if she does, she will upstage you, and you might have to become a better rider.  Maybe if you put all the time into a ride together you put into Bible study, your marriage may grow.  But if you put all the time riding into God, I can assure you will grow.  When spirit led.  I rather be riding thinking about God, than sitting in church thinking about riding.  You can take Jesus with you, you know?  But  you have to ask him along, like you do your wife.  Maybe he is just waiting for the invite into your life and ride.  Until we meet him face to face, and we are led by his spirit, everything else will be of little value.  Riding more and enjoying it less....maybe you need a passenger along to share it with.  Reading more and enjoying it less, you need the spirit to guide you. 
It may not be your bike that needs the tune up, ask Jesus into your life, ask you wife along to ride.  And find like the newlyweds did, “oh wonderfully so, God is so right.”  Now, whaddya mean your wife don’t ride?
love with compassion,
Mike matthew25biekr.blogspot.com