At this stage in life I don’t always remember my first, and I have trouble
remembering my last. Some things that used to be so important just aren’t
anymore, at least to me, so if I feign interest don’t take it personal, because
it isn’t intended to be. Sometimes I just don’t care, and sometimes I just
don’t care to remember. Watching the endless stream of commercials on TV
promising you that only they can find your prefect match for you, I am glad that
after 37 years of marriage and counting that I don’t have to date. Or want to.
How sad to be over 50 and dating again, going through all the dating and getting
to know you rituals. I can’t remember my first date, or my last, but I do
remember many in between. Funny how you don’t remember the mundane ones, but
the good ones stand out, and the worst ones haunt you. And for some reason, my
first junior high school dance still haunts me, it was like a first date, so
although many facts have faded, the scene still sticks in my mind. Or
somewhere.....
It was 8th grade, the first year you were allowed to look at girls and not
be afraid to get cooties. Skirts and sweaters were popular, and some girls were
beginning to fill them out in all the right places. And one caught my eye...so
we agreed to meet at the afterschool dance. Not a date, but a see you
there....OK a date. But true to form, it was all boys on one side, the girls on
the other, with only the coolest and most mature out dancing. Alone. The rest
of us huddled in fear of having to dance. While I could play sports before a
crowd, the thought of being one on one with a girl freaked me out. I was later
to find out I was not the only one. So secretly making up my own approach
lines, and remembering how words come out either slurred or stuttered when
facing the enemy, I finally got up the courage to go over and ask her to dance.
Actually I was really pushed and taunted, although I did hold out for half the
dance. By then my cowardice was so evident, concealed by pride, but still
scared. So between songs I walked over to the other side, perhaps the longest
walk in my teen years, muttering my cool opening line to myself. Getting more
nervous as I got closer, she knew I was coming, as her friends were all huddling
around her and giggling-watching my approach. My confidence was waning, when
suddenly a new thought crept into my mind, and sheer horror set in. What if she
said yes? What if I had to dance with her? I had never danced before! And
passing the point of no return, my advance was noted and evident. So when in
earshot, within a couple of feet, I mumbled something sophisticated and mature
like “wanna dance?” And before I finished she said “yes,” the music started and
the misery set in. A high and a low all at once. No one told me the teen
years would be so tough! But we danced, I must have looked like hopping
barefoot on hot coals, the music ended, and went into a slow song. And I dance
again...embracing a girl other than my aunt or mother. And she embraced back!
Maybe this dance thing wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be, and after the song
ended, we sat and talked. My dancing was over, I was wet with sweat, barely
putting words together to form a sentence, but I had done it. Right in front of
my friends, her friends, God and everybody. I had danced, with a girl and
survived! She would later admit she was just as scared...And just that memory
will always aid in keeping my marriage strong. I never want to go through that
again!
Sharing Christ can be like that first dance. You are all practiced up, got
it all together, then the words don’t come out right. The conversation becomes
all about you, because your approach although about Jesus is all about you.
Face it, it is. And all the coaching and motivation that comes from your pastor
or friends won’t help. It needs to come naturally, to be spirit led and spirit
based. The holy spirit. I have watched skilled speakers get up in front of
believing crowds and blow it, so afraid they will say something wrong. Worrying
if not perfect they will be laughed at. And hoping their presentation is so
good no one will ask questions. Just the opposite of being in the spirit. I
know a couple who practices their presentations, and uses tracts. I don’t. And
they get on my case about me not knowing or being prepared to witness. I try to
be a witness, it is God’s job to fill me, mine to let him. His to guide, mine
to obey. Yet I have been persecuted on more than one occasion for not knowing
the four spiritual laws. Law vs. the spirit, isn’t there a conflict? And they
get mad. The Romans Road? In Rome isn’t it? And yet because I try to follow
the spirit vs. a rote set of presentations, I need help. Now I don’t deny the
needing help, but when I do the spirit is willing. No matter how weak the
flesh. In fact the weaker I am, the stronger the spirit. Scriptural even.
So I find getting to know a person, learning to earn the right to share
Jesus is far better. If I truly walk in Christ, my attitudes and actions will
portray him better. I am not looking for an argument as some do, and walk away
with an I showed them attitude. I genuinely am concerned for their salvation,
so I go in love. Remembering the whole time my first dance. And go
anyway.
And so I find comfort in doing something once twice. Getting married.
Once twice, my first and only. And coming to Jesus once twice. My first and
only. I am getting better at knowing what to say, even better at what not to
say. Listening before giving an answer, even asking questions so I can answer
better. But when I let God lead, I find his words come out, and amazing me.
And they are effective, more than any plan I may have hatched. But still I am
least prepared to ask them to turn to Jesus. For it is between them and God
only. Not an emotional outburst or going forward after a bad time. It is
strictly spiritual, and only God will know so the person does too. Don’t ever
rush to judgment or to prayer-let God lead. And what if they say yes? Again
let the spirit lead. And be ready to listen again. God will lead. And then do
what most don’t, listen some more and follow up. For a new convert is most
susceptible. Get them a Bible, pray with them, and follow up. Disciple them,
for it is all new to them, and may be all new to you too. No amount of
rehearsal will ever substitute for the holy spirit’s guiding.
God will bring them along as he does us. Daily. And we each grow at
different rates. So be led by the spirit, and avoid anxious moments. Let God
be God, he has more experience than you, and his job is salvation. You just get
to be the messenger and see lives changed. You get to be blessed passing on the
gift of Jesus to others. And it works best outside of church, where there are
no pressures to perform. So come to Jesus once twice. For a first and last
time. Let him fill in the blanks. Get off walking in the spirit today, and
maybe for the first time today if saved. How will you know you are in the
spirit? Experience tells me I know when I am not. And others will tell you
too. But you’ll know, it is that personal. Being a witness for Christ should
never be like my first dance experience. The spirit led you to him, now let him
do it for others. And when he lets you be a part of it, it is better than that
first slow dance. My first 8th grade girl friend was just waiting to be asked.
You’ll know when to ask no matter how long the walk across the gym floor. You
will remember your first and last love, make sure you don’t forget about Jesus
in between either. We will spend most of our lives in the in between times,
between dances. A lesson on life and sophistication from one who should know,
but is still learning. The destination should always be more important than the
delivery. It’s all about Jesus anyway, right?
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com