Thursday, December 10, 2015

all I have is my love of love, and love is not loving
















Many nights and rainy afternoons were spent listening to Bowie and trying to figure out what he meant when he sang “all I have is my love of love, and love is not loving.”  The song “Soul Love,” second song on the first side of “Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars” album, worn out on many turntables over 40 years ago.  We were young, although we didn’t think so, stupid, although we thought we knew it all, and had no sense of tomorrow, or of many other senses either.  We were just out of high school, some in college, some in JC like me, some in hair school, and some finding work with their father’s business immediately after graduation.  The war in Nam was still going on, and some friends went, some didn’t, I was #364 in the draft when I turned 18, some came back, too many didn’t, and those who did were affected forever.  Hair was long, tempers were short, disco was on the horizon and Yoko Ono had broken up the Beatles.  And then Bowie came along....
I love music, almost all kinds, except Rap or hip hop.  Cannot stand it.  Look at its roots and you may see why.  Angry, degrading, and addictive, and to me it all sounds the same.  Look back from 1956 to 1975, and music was in a Classic mode, never to be reproduced again.  We had our love of The Grateful Dead, Wings, Led Zeppelin, and now Bowie, all singing about love.  Sex was becoming a first date ritual, two wheels was always preferred over four, an easier way to get a date than in Mom’s station wagon, and we were searching, what for we weren’t sure, but the hunt was fun, and exciting, but for some never ending.  It was a time of me first, first learned out of the womb when we cried or grabbed what we wanted with no regards to others.  “Mine!”  And we soon learned to have our own way, to rebel against the establishment.  Many did, looking for love in all the wrong places, some found a poor substitute and burned out before they burned up, and for some the party continues today, no one had the guts to tell them it was over.  All they had was their love of self, and that isn’t loving.
Some took passion and made it a career, some took their parent’s advice and lived never knowing, and some just didn’t care.  Freedom we called it, do your own thing, and many did, redefining success, and enjoying a life that made them appear weird, but left them fulfilled inside.  My passion has always been for motorcycles, and over the years, since June of 1972, have only been without at least one for only 7 weeks, when snowed in at Vallecito Lake.  40 below and 500 inches of snow were hard to overcome, and I finally succumbed to winter.  But that passion took me to school, to an outlaw experience in Florida, to New Mexico after I was saved, and to San Diego where I met my forever wife Theresa.  A million miles off life.  All on two wheels, and the memories continue to this day.  Freedom behind handlebars, not sitting at a bar.  48 states, Canada and Mexico.  12 trips from east to west coast.  124 degree heat, below freezing temps.  Flash floods, sudden blizzards and countless days of sunshine, I had found my love of riding.  My love of love, but love was not loving.
Ask anyone in love, and they will tell you love is an emotion.  Correct, at least a little.  For when it is, you can fall out of love.  You may not feel in love that day, and pay for it tomorrow.  I told my sons for years “never make a decision on a high or low emotion,” yet we all do, and look back and wonder “what was I thinking?”  Some love golf, some cars, some clothes and fashion.  Some love music, some shopping, some love the Chargers, and some even love motorcycles.  I can be guilty of all, I once played golf, I love t shirts and jeans, don’t own a tie, I love music, like to shop for motorcycles, win most of the time because I bet against the Chargers and love to ride.  But it goes beyond that, for I love motorcycling, not just the bike.  I love to ride, to be on the road, to meet others who ride, to go places and cross time zones.  I like to cruise at 120, or at 35.  I love Ninjas, my Bonneville, and also my Tigers.  I wear off chicken strips on all bikes, and wear others out on long rides.  I am a motorcyclist, it is my love, but there is something else, someone else who defines love to me.  And who I am.
Scripture tells us “God is love.”  More than a feeling, like Boston sang, he is the person of Jesus Christ.  He brings us joy which is not to be confused with happiness.  And blessings, which means happiness, and they come from him.  It requires a relationship, a personal one, and admitting you are a sinner.  Just like the way we were born, in sin, and Jesus is the way to be forgiven.  Without him, all we have is our love of love, with no one to identify it with.  And without Jesus, love is not loving.  Which is why marriages end, lives spin out of control, and the free love we once thought we enjoyed has brought us a generation of those even more selfish.  Jesus tells us our lives are not our own, and we only have life when we give over our lives to him.  Our decision, for true love demands a decision, and God offers us the choice.  And so while some fall in and out of love, we stay in love when we stay in Christ.  He never sleeps so we can at night.  He never gives up on us, when we do.  He promises us a hope and a future when today seems like the end.  He is love, and those who know him find love.  Way beyond an emotion, or a feeling, in our very spirit he dwells with us.  Giving us his spirit, so we can live as he intends.  But yet, we still have to make the decisions of how to live.
Many my age gave up riding to marry or raise a family.  Now the kids are gone, sometimes the spouse, and they are coming back.  And enjoying something they didn’t know they had been missing.  My first night with Theresa was on a R100S, and we still ride today.  Both my sons were raised around riding, and we all ride today.  Motorcycling has brought us together, in good times and of bad.  But being a Christian has given us life.  Good times or bad, Jesus stuck with us.  At home, on the road.  In church or in hospitals.  At the desert or crossing the Mississippi, like the song says “this land was made for you and me.”  Made by a loving God, a person.  And if all I have is his love, then I have it all.  So I still may not understand Bowie’s lyric, but I can tell you I found love in Jesus Christ, my love of all loves, and his love is loving.  And so much more.
Kings and kingdoms will all pass away.  Just look at the news.  Motorcycles have changed drastically in 40 years.  Earth tones are coming back in fashion.  Retirement looms for many with apprehension.  The same way they lived.  I have a hope and a future, here and after earth.  I may get too old to ride or feed myself.  To poor to pay my bills, without help.  Or lose my teeth and have to drink milkshakes.  But I never have to worry, for all my needs will always be met in Jesus Christ.  All.  That soul love that Bowie sang of I have found.  And it is well with my soul.  People ask me about my love of motorcycles, and if it interferes with my being a Christian.  Are you putting something else before God?  Again the answer found in scripture, for God has given me the desires of my heart.  And that desire is him.  First.  He also has given me a desire to ride, and when I seek him first, all other things are added unto me.  Including motorcycles.  And a ministry using them.  He is my first love, and his love is loving me, a long time before I ever loved him.  That’s love, and why Jesus died for us while still sinners. 
Experience his love today and forever.  Get to know him beyond church and teaching.  You read the book, now meet the person.  The application of your education.  Bowie told us “don’t lean on me man, ‘cause I can’t afford the ticket”...Jesus paid the price for your ticket that Bowie told us he couldn’t afford.  Lean on Jesus, your soul is bought and paid with a price.  That’s love.  Now go and love on someone else.  And show them that love is loving.  Soul love.  A song worth singing over and over.  And now you know....
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com