I blame Gerald. He once told me the a secret about vacations I wish he
hadn’t. He told me that while on vacation, the Thursday before you come home
is when you check out, and begin to come home a few days early. All the worries
you left behind become real, and the last four days of your trip become a
preparation to be home. A thought that has stuck with me in over 40 years of
touring, no matter how long, how far or how many time zones crossed, that last
Thursday on the road everything winds down and the trip is cut short. It is
when you find you over spent and under planned, how when you mentally checked
out the week before leaving those things are waiting for you, and the last four
days your mind is not on vacation mode. A battle I have fought and both won and
lost, the time either passes quicker as you know Monday back to work is coming,
or slows to a crawl, as you don’t go or do things as planned in anticipation of
being back home. If only you could look forward to being back home as you did
to starting on the ride.....
So state of mind has a lot to do with how you see your vacation. Maybe a
lesson in patience we all need, I know I did, learning the hard way. After
being in cardiac critical care for 20 days, I was excited to leave and go to
rehab. My night nurse Neil told me emotionally how to handle it, open heart
surgery and new aorta and all. All the attention I was used to getting, how I
had been watched 24/7, would now come to end, and I would be just another
patient. I was ready, or thought I was, impatient to leave, but when the time
came....I wish I could have stayed. Things are different in rehab, I was the
youngest at age 58, and the lack of personal care fell short as far as I was
concerned. If not for a night nurse Tomoko, I may have gone crazy, and along
with the head of nutrition who rode, they fussed over me. With the other real
memory is of an old woman watching MTV every morning at six, then going back to
her room. After eight days in a coma, it is safe to say my sleeping habits were
needing adjustment, not sure about hers. But being blessed by an ever present
Jesus, I went home early, to spend the rest of the 54 days in Albuquerque in a
friend’s house. With the promise of my infection treatments only lasting the
balance of the six weeks. No matter how well I was doing, that six week time
frame was necessary, no matter how we begged or Theresa administered them. To
me it was like Thursday in reverse, would I ever leave Albuquerque? I wondered
if I would ever leave CCC, and when the big day came, home I went, riding in the
back of a rented Camry, with a new heart, and a new outlook on life. My
traveling would change after that, and Thursdays would never be the same, I now
enjoy everyday, looking forward to going and to coming back home. I almost
didn’t make it back....at least to my earthly home. How could Gerald, a doctor
himself, be some right and so wrong at the same time?
Seems we are so overwhelmed with time, or lack of it, we forget we are
eternally in God’s presence. God does not live moment to moment as we do, he is
outside of time, as eternity has no beginning and has no end. A constant right
now if you will, and as fragile as the moment may seem to us, he has it all
under control. Maybe the most important part of my life with Jesus that changed
was in my prayers, as Theresa was given Isaiah 65:24, I paraphrase, “before you
ask, God knows and has it all in motion.” He doesn’t stop to wait from us, or
listen to our advice, he has it all under control. He is enthroned forever, no
other God to replace him or take his place. Yet we wander from him in times of
need, even telling him how to fix the situation, when if only we had listened we
would have the answer in place, along with the solution in progress. Maybe a
side of being a work in progress we never consider. I read once where Jesus
never hurried, and was never late. I wish I could say the same....
But I have learned the most important part of prayer is listening to his
answer, to letting him be God, and take care of me. He never told us “to him
who has a mouth let him speak,” but did say “to he who has an ear let him
hear.” Two ears, one mouth, can hearing be twice as important? Or do we need
two ears because we don’t listen? Also hearing is the last sense to leave us
before death. Any comments on advice before leaving earth that are better than
the words of Jesus? So despite my impatience to get along and out, to start
life over again, to finally get home, God had it all under control. So that he
would get the credit. When you pray, do you listen, and when he answers do you
give him all the credit? He who never leaves us to fend for ourselves, is ever
present, and visible via our actions and attitudes when we walk in his spirit.
God loves to hear from you, can you say the same? If not, why waste your time
in praying if you don’t want an answer? His answer....
And yet so many well meaning people cross your path, telling you “they
understand what you are going through.” To which I began to reply, “really,
explain it to me, I don’t.” Did you ever wake up after being life flighted and
have a new aorta after it disintegrated during surgery? If so, I would love to
hear from you. Fortunately I heard from God.....So do you ever get the Thursday
I have to go back to work on Monday and ruin my last few days of vacation
blues? Maybe one last perspective from a man going home is needed.
In he Garden on Thursday Jesus knew what lay ahead, he knew his time on
earth was coming to an end, and by Monday would be back home. But first Good
Friday, six hours of hell on the cross, yet his thoughts were of us, praying for
us in his misery, talking to and listening to his father. Sunday he would be
home, establishing a new Sabbath, where we could all rest in him until called
home to heaven. But on Monday he was back, at the right hand of his father,
seeing over the universe, and over us. He too knows of a day when he will
return for us, he just doesn’t know the time or date. But yet he is patient
that none should perish and miss him. Is he included in your future plans? Is
he part of your future, or more importantly your right now?
Bowie once sang “time might change me, but I can’t change time.” But you
can change your perspective when giving it all to Jesus. And you don’t have to
wait till Thursday or be on vacation, he is listening right now. Question is,
are you listening right now? The spirit is calling, to give you peace, rest,
comfort, wisdom, and understanding. At times we never thought we would leave
Albuquerque for home, but he was patient. Enjoy today, we may not have a
tomorrow. I know, so enjoy today and everyday in God’s presence. Jesus his
present to you, forever. Where the spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.
That is where I want to be. And if you don’t understand, let him
explain.....just may change your life, here and forever. To him who has an ear
never sounded so good....
love with compassion,
Mike
matthew25biker.blogspot.com